Remember Me (A Niall Horan and Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

Chapter 5

Niall

I’d never been a big fan of sleeping. It always brought me to a world of memories I just wanted to forget. Memories that served as nightmares. Memories that I couldn’t bring back anymore. Usually, it was all about Mum. And I hate that. It only showed how much I missed her and all I could wish was for my memory to be erased. I didn’t want to remember her sufferings and how she died.

I woke up when I felt someone staring at me. My head was throbbing. But I still managed to turn my head and look at her. Mum? I thought. She was smiling at me and I wanted to touch her face. But it seemed like my arms couldn’t move. Tears stung my eyes. I miss you, Mum! I wanna yell. But no words came out of my mouth. Shit! Mum’s face started to fade. Mum, wait! My inside was already screaming. My face was already wet with tears. Mum, waiiiiiiittt!!

“Niall, wake up!” I heard someone speak beside me, shaking my whole body. I opened my eyes just to realize everything was just a dream. I covered my eyes with my hand, sighing. Mum. I had a nightmare about her again. I felt my eyes wet. I cried again. Shit!

“Are you okay?” A voice asked me. This time, my head was really throbbing but I managed to turn it to my side and looked at her. Victoria. Jeez. Harry’s girlfriend. No. Should I say, EX girlfriend?

Her head was resting on my arm; her lust-filled blue eyes were staring at me with a flirty smile on her face. The blanket was wrapped around her body as she ran her fingers through my hair.

I looked at her with a blank expression before I rose up on my bed without even answering her question. What if I told her I wasn’t okay? Was there anything she could do for me?! Could she help me with my burdens? NO.  People would just let me feel that they were always there for me but eventually, they would only leave me alone. I couldn’t trust them.

After I put my pants back on, Victoria wrapped her arms around me and I could feel her naked body behind me.

I felt glad after seeing the look on Harry’s face when he caught us kissing on her car. I just wanted to use her girlfriend for my revenge against him and his family because they were the reason why I was suffering. They were the ones who brought this hell in my life. And they were also the reason why Mum died of desperation.

Just thinking about my dad, leaving my mum for that woman made me so angry. And I hate my life because of them. Dad left me and Mum for his new family. And I wanted them to feel how painful it was to lose someone you dearly love and how painful it was to watch them suffer in front of you.

I was just getting started and I wouldn’t stop until I heard them beg and cry in despair.

No one could blame me if I changed like this. After Mum died, I already had a different perspective in life. I became a dropped out student in school, making Dad so angry. And I liked that. I always wanted to see his face filled with anger. I wanted him to realize that this was his entire fault!

After I moved back here to London, I started to become a gang leader and being with my members was just one of the many reasons to stay away from my new family. I loved spending time with them, doing pranks with other people, drinking up all night, smoking and sleeping with different girls.

“Marry me, Niall.” I heard Victoria speak behind me and her words made me laugh. Seriously?! This girl wants me to marry her?! Oh. That’s bullshit. I’d never wanted to get married!

I pushed her arms off me. I was still laughing so hard. I took one cigarette from the pack that lay on the bedside table and lit it up. She was looking at me with a blank expression.

“Did I say something funny?” she asked.

“Seriously?!” I laughed again. “Victoria, wake up! Marrying you has never been a part of our deal.” I told her before blowing a cloud of smoke from my mouth.

“But...” she trailed off as if she was about to cry. Jeez. I hate a cry baby! “But, I broke up with Harry just for you, Niall. I love you! Why can’t you just marry me?!” she said wrapping her arms around me again. I pushed her away, making her stumble down on the bed.

“It was never a part of our deal, Victoria. Wake up! We’re just getting started. So please, don’t ruin my plans if you don’t want to get hurt.” I told her with a threatening look. I blew smoke from my nose and dropped my half-lighted cigarette on the ash tray. I put my shirt back on and walked out of the room, leaving Victoria alone.

****

I’d been in London as far as I could remember. There were some things in here that looked so familiar to me. But as usual, remembering them only gave me a severe headache. So, as much as I could, I stopped remembering things that had only been a part of my past.

I already deleted all of them. I didn’t need them. I was already living a new life- a life of my own.

When Mom died two years ago, I told myself not to trust anyone again. Especially not my dad. Old Niall was already dead. And this was me now, Niall Horan - braver and bolder.  

While I was in Ireland, I was just living with my mom. Dad always had his business trips; that was why I didn't’ spend that much time with him. Months later, I finally heard the news that he and mom were already divorced. That’s when he told me, that he was going to marry a new woman.

It was so hard for Mom. She started getting sick and until eventually, she died. And after she died, Dad decided it was now time for me to live with him.

Through the years, he’d never been the best dad for me. And I wanted him to suffer as much as much as Mum did.

I came back to London not just because of him, but because Mum told me before she died that I had to find the real me. She said that there was someone in my past that I needed to see again - a girl who was waiting for me. Mum told me that I made a promise to this girl that I would be back, though, I couldn’t remember the girl’s name. But what’s the use of it all if Mum would never be with me again? All I ever needed in my life was her. No one else.

My drive home was short. I was living alone in my invested flat, which I brought from my earnings from my fights.

I’d rather spend my time alone than being with his new family which would be more than hell; and just a pain in my life. Remembrance of what I would never have.

I walked inside the elevator and exhaustion caught up to me and my body. I realized I hadn’t had a good sleep last night.

My room’s door was already opened when I turned my key on it. Shit! And when I stepped inside, I saw Dad and his new wife, Anne, sitting on my couch. They turned their gazes at me and anger rose up in my veins.

I slammed my door shut. “What are you doing here?!”

“Hello, Niall. You’re-“

“WHAT?!” I growled, stopping Anne with whatever shit she was about to say.

“NIALL!” Dad exclaimed and there was an angry tone in his voice.

I should be the one getting angry here! They were inside my house and I didn’t want them here!

“If you don’t have any business here; I suggest you leave my house now.” I said, as I walked towards my bedroom, not even bothering to look at them.

Dad immediately grabbed me by my arm. “Don’t you ever talk to Anne like that?! She’s your mum now!”

His words rang inside my ears, making me angrier. I let out a sarcastic laugh, pulling my arm off his grip. “She will never be my mum! She’s nothing compared to Mum!”

Seconds later, I felt a twinge of pain on my face. This was the first time Dad had punched me.

“George!” Anne ran toward Dad who had an angry expression on his face.

“Don’t you ever dare say that again, Niall.”

“WHAT DO YOU CARE?! I don’t need you in my life! Why don’t you just spend the rest of your life with your new family and just leave me ALONE!” I replied and there was something inside me telling me that my words weren’t enough for Dad to know how much he hurt me.

I saw Dad’s expression as if he wanted to punch me in the face again but Anne was already gripping his arm, stopping him from doing so.

I looked at his eyes for the last time before storming out of the room, slamming the door behind me.

Shit!