**Ashley's P.O.V**
I got back my hotel room in a rush, Peder said he had to go meet a London orchestra and I don't know where the others went, I was alone in the hotel room, I crack open a bottle of White wine, I cant drink red wine anymore, it reminds me too much of him, typical wasn't it, in the Whole of the world we had to go into the same bar, his new girlfriend was sweet, her name was Gabby or Gemma, oh wait Gemma was the other one.
God damn it Sheppard, he nearly let it slip, Matty can't know, he just can't, I killed his child, our child, but at the same time, I was going to have to bring it up, alone, without him, I change into black sweatpants and a white top, I run my hands through my short blue hair, I sit on the balcony and watch London go by, it's an amazing City, the art, the food, the drink, the people, everything, I light a cigarette, I've barely smoked since I've had the miscarriage, but I need one today, I feel the warm smoke creep into my lungs. God I want Red Wine so badly, no I don't, I want him, no I don't, I can't believe I just thought that.
I had given him a demo before I left, a colors demo, it's a new song I wrote and recorded, it was strongly about him and it got personal in the verses and I wanted him to check it, to see if it was okay to put in the album, or not, this album was going to be interesting, it had already got leaked a few times and all the songs weren't even on it yet, fans had already learnt all the words to the ones a played on stage, it was incredible, people were spending their money to see me, why?.
There's a knock at the door,
"Who is it," I yell coming back inside,
There's a pause, I slow British voice speaks after it, "it's Matty,"
I hesitate and don't say anything for a while,
"Ash?" He says, "are you gonna let me in?" I can almost hear him smiling,
"I'm thinking about it," I reply snappily,
"C'mon Love, let me in," he says through the door,
"Why?" I ask,
"Because I want to speak to you,"
"What about?" I know exactly what about,
"What happened,"
"No need," I say opening the fridge loudly, "I'm over it,"
"Well I'm not, open the god damn door," he shouts, banging on it,
"Fine fine, whatever," I say shaking my head as I open it.
He's standing there his hair messy as usual, his tired eyes stand out from his pale skin, I walk back into the apartment, he follows,
"Drink?" I say walking to the fridge,
"Uh yea, please," he says sitting down,
I pour a glass of red wine for him and I pour myself some white, I give it too him,
"Have you listened to it yet," I gesture to the memory stick I gave him which he's twirling in his hands,
"No, I wanted to listen to it with you," he says meeting my eye, he's so beautiful, I have to look away,
"Um okay," I pause, "I wanted you to listen to it because, it's about you and it's obvious at points and I wanted to see if you were alright with it,"
He smile and plugs it into my laptop, I've missed his smile, "I'm sure it's great,"
He plays it, I get up, and light another cig, I offer him he shakes his head listening to the music, I can't look at him, the songs to personal, I pretend I'm doing something in the kitchen area,
"Suddenly I was a lilac sky, then you decided purple just wasn't for you," I say speaking along to the spoken verse in the music, shaking my head, I can feel his eyes watching me carefully.
The song finishes, "and that's that, I can change anything or not put it on the album, that's completely fine, or..." I get interrupted,
"Ash, it's incredible," he says trying to catch my eye,
"You sure?" I say making a disgusted face,
He smiles, "yea," he nods, there's silence,
"So how have you been?" He says moving closer to me on the sofa,
Awful, I think, because the fact you cheated on me, that i was pregnant with your child, that I had a miscarriage for no reason, that I haven't told nearly anyone about it, that I had to do a show afterwards, and i was too scared to tell you about it, and I have no idea what I'm doing with my life, or my career and I still don't understand this whole artist reputation and I get myself into social media fights, and I haven't seen my family in months because I'm touring and I haven't seen you in forever and now you have a new girlfriend, and I don't know why hat upsets me because, I hate you and I have Peder.
"Fine," I lie, "you?"
He smiles a shakes his head, "fucking awful,"
"Why?" I say, shifting away from him slightly,
He sarcastically laughs, "why the fuck do you think? One minute your saying you love me and the next your you don't talk to me for 6 six months?" He makes his voice go louder,
"Look I'm sorry, but after what I saw, you know, I had other things in my life that I needed to sort," I sigh,
"What?"he's says softer, "you can talk to me about anything," he moves closer and puts his hand on mine,
I shake my head, "no I can't, I definitely can't talk to you about it, I can't talk to Jenna or Anthony or anyone," I pause I feel a tear roll down my cheek, I meet his eye finally, "because if I do, I don't think I'll ever stop crying,"
He puts his arm around me, I pull away, "and i dont think you'll ever forgive me," i stand up and wipe my cheeks, Jesus Christ, Ashley, pull yourself together.
"Ash you can tell me, you should know I won't get mad." He says standing up as well,
"I know it's just..." I trail off,
"Just what," he walks over to me,
I can feel the words on my lips, I'm going to tell him. No, Ashley, come on. I walk to the other side of the room,
"Matty, this is a really bad time, because I've drunken cocktails all afternoon and now I'm drinking wine and," I look at the bottle, "and it's fucking nearly all gone and I'm on the verge of being drunk and who knows what gonna come out my mouth," I throw my hands in the air, he smiles,
"Coffee?, Tomorrow?" He says grinning,
"Uh sure," I remember something, "oh wait, I'm dying kids air tomorrow," I sit back down,
"Your what?" He says sitting a little too close next to me,
"I'm taking over Bleach Hair Salon and I'm dying some fans hair," I roll my eyes,
"They were right," he says laughing, "your absolutely mental,"
"Oi," i hit him, "and I have a show in the evening at KoKo,"
"Can I come," he says looking me straight in the eye,
"Uh sure, but, um, keep out of Peders way," I shrug, "he hates you,"
"No I mean I'll be in the crowd," he smiles,
"Um okay sure, if you want to," I take a sip of wine, he nods,
"I thought you drank red wine," he gestures at the bottle,
He doesn't need to know that I switched from red because it reminded me of him too much,
"yea, well, things change," I shrug, I pause.
"Do people ever ask you about us?" I ask slowly,
He shakes his head, "I got Jamie to talk to interviewers before to make sure they never ask," he pauses, "I didn't know what to say, you?"
I faintly smile, "yes all the time, interviewers, fan meets, Q&A's," I study his face, "I always make up bull shit, I'm not gonna tell them the truth," I roll my eyes,
"Q&A's," he laughs, "that shit is brutal, we don't do them, it's so hard,"
"I literally have no idea why I do them," I laugh,
"Are you doing one tomorrow, like at KoKo?" He asks,
"Yea, hopefully British are nicer, I get asked he weirdest questions,"
He leans into me, "like what?"
I throw my hands up, "what's your favourite sex position, is asked a lot,"
He laughs,
"How's the album coming along?" I ask him,
"Ugh, I have no clue, all the songs are written, I think," he sighs, "hey, someone told me your doing a song with Justin Bieber,"
I laugh, at the ridiculous but true idea, "pfff, yea, I don't know how that happened, he just called up one day," he watches me smile,
"I missed you Ash," he says softly I can feel myself blush, I look up and meet his eye,
"I missed you too,"
