The Book Boyfriend

Nineteen.

His eyes scanned the food, smiling slightly before he took a seat beside me. “Any of that for me?”

“You can have the toast?” I pushed the empty plate to the side, slapping his hand away as he went for the bacon. He didn’t doubt that I was joking anymore and before he could protest I smiled. “I’m kidding; I wasn’t as hungry as I thought”

I handed him the bacon and eggs, but stole a piece of bacon in the process which only had him shaking his head. I poured him some coffee when I got my own and we were silent while he ate. I grabbed the paper from the trolley, glancing over it curiously and going through the entertainment section I stopped to read an article with his band.

“Angel, about last night.” He clearly didn’t want to talk about it at all, unable to look at me as he pushed his plate next to mine. “Thank you.”

I put the paper down, watching as he stood up and went back into the bedroom. I decided not to go after him; he was going to have to deal with this and without any help from his liquid friends or me. I put the plates on the trolley and tidied up a little before grabbing my phone and sitting on the sofa to wait.

I had all day.

-

An hour later a maid slipped into the room and collected the trolley. I didn’t even realize she was there until one of the glasses clicked against the plate as she headed towards the door. The soft click of it closing was heard by someone else and Beau quickly appeared, relief appearing on his face.

“I thought you’d gone.”

“Why? Because you’re in there hiding from me?”

“I’m not hiding,” He paused, rubbing the back of his neck before walking over to sit beside me. I moved my legs so he’d have room and sat them back over his lap. “I’m avoiding you”

“Same thing.”

“You told me you loved me last night, even after all that, you told me you loved me.”

“All of what?” I prodded.

“Julia, those stupid books, me being drunk. Again.”

“And what else Beau?”

“I wasn’t going to take it. I just, I dunno. It’s what I used to do, what she used to do. She’d find out, we’d fight and then she’d leave, only to come back again and then we’d both get high and be great until the next thing.” It took me a second to work out what he said, we’d? Clearly the drug issue wasn’t one sided like the book told us.

“I left my phone at Seth’s after we spoke so once you worked it out I would have to hear you say you’re breaking up with me.”

I moved to sit on his lap, holding him like I did last night.

“I’m not going to leave because something bad happens between us. I know you’re going to be seen with other girls and people are going to claim to be pregnant with your kid and you’re going to leave for a tour at a time when I don’t want you to. But Beau, I trust you, you have to trust me not to do what she did.” I kissed his forehead, finally seeing all of walls I still had to climb over.  “And then trust me not to write about it.”

“That’s not funny.”

“I wasn’t trying to be.” It was nice just being together, only it wasn’t going to last. “Beau, do you think you need rehab again or at least counseling, anti-depressants maybe? I’m worried about you.”

“I don’t like who the drugs make me, tried it all before. I’ll try harder, I promise.”

“It’s not about trying harder and don’t promise me, promise you. I’m not always going to be able to come to you, we’re going to be apart and you have to learn to deal with that responsibility. You’re not ever on your own. You have the band and your Mum, they love you too. Next time, talk to them, if your too nervous to talk to me get one of them to do it.”