The Wrong direction (one direction Fan Fic)

chapter 23

Raindrops began to fall by the time that Louis made his trip to the other side of the graveyard.  Harry was buried in the corner; a large tree was next to his stone watching over his friend as he laid. 

Louis squatted down beside the stone, his eyes beginning to water.  He had swore to himself that he would not cry, but he could hold the hurt in no longer.  Because he was alone, he knew that it was safe to break apart.  There would be no one watching him, and no one to judge his feeble body. 

Louis had not gone to the extremes that Harry once had.  He ate enough nourishment for his body; he exercised to feel the exertion of his body, but he never starved himself, no matter the amout of pain that he seemed to be going through because of Harry's death. 

From past experience with his step father, Louis had learned how to deal with pain.  He was immune to its effects.  The thought of bodily destruction, like what Harry had done, had crossed his mind, but he knew that he would never go down that path.  How could he?

As the rain began to fall Louis hugged his jacket closer around his body.  He knew why he had come to visit his friend.  He wanted to talk to him.  He felt that this way the best way to relieve himself of his guilt and stress.

"How are you doing Haz?" Louis spoke softly into the wind.  If it were not for the scenery around him, he would have half expected back a reply.  He could imagine Harry running his hand through his soft curls and looking up at him with his big green eyes that seemed to lighten up rooms in an instant.  Louis could hear Harry's voice sing out, "I'm wonderful Lou."

Louis could almost make out Harry's words through the wind, but knew himself that it was all in his imagination. Harry was not wonderful though.  He had been suffering.  Despite this revelation, Louis continued talking to his friend, almost as if they were having a normal conversation.

"I am not doing the best, Haz.  I really miss you.  Nothing was been the same ever since you left.  There is no more One Direction.  No one really sings our songs; our voice has been silenced all because of you," he said, adding venom to the last words.

He wiped a tear from his eye. "No, Harry. It wasn't your fault.  We all messed up somewhere along the way.  I just want to tell you that I miss you.  I miss your smile.  I miss the way that you used to make me feel like I was important.  You had a way of doing that, you know?  When the world tore me down, you were always there to lift me up, and for that I am forever grateful."

The rain began to come down heavier.  The trees rattled with the sound of strain.  Louis was oblivious to the noise.  "Haz, it might be selfish, but I am not ready to move on."  Louis stood, "But if I really love you, I will have to let you go."

Louis next did something which he had planned for years.  He reached in his pocket, and pulled out a small slip of paper .  The words held so much meaning to him.  They told a story.

He read over the words for one last time.  He told himself that he was ready to let go of Hary's memory, and for the first time in six months, he believed that he was.

Louis folded the paper, and held it openly in his hand.  It swirled in the wind like a leaf, until it blew away with the rain.  The words held the phrase which meant the most to him.  Thousands of thoughts, feelings, and emotions were written on that page, and he let them go without a second glance. 

By this time, Louis was drenched in rain, and he decided that it was time to go. 

Louis slowly lifted himself off the ground, but not before he got one last look at Harry's grave.  It looked alone, and alone it would forever stay.  It would stay still without life, and happiness; it would stay surrounded with tears.

Louis was done with feeling depressed.  He was going to start over, start anew, and begin a life for himself which he could have only dreamed of after he had been informed of Harold's death. 

He walked to his car with a relieved expression on his face; he had accomplished what he had come to do.  He was free from the secrets, and the burdens that weighed so heavily upon his heart. 

He started the engine of his black Sudan, and drove away.  Maybe he would revisit this place, but maybe it would be a forgotten memory in his mind.  Whatever the case, Louis did not know the outcome, but he did know that he was satisfied.

Obliviously to Louis, a few meters away, a slip of paper floated through the wind.  It was void of shelter, and was weighed down from the rain. 

If one was to look closely, they could scarcely make out the words which were imprinted on the page.  If they knew anything about the lads, they would have been able to see that it was Harry's handwriting scrawled over the page. 

Louis had found the paper in Harry's journal, on the back page, a few days after he had read it with the boys. 

Louis had been looking through, trying to find something, but of what he was unsure.  He had come across the page, and after close examination, had felt lost. 

He was not sure of the meaning behind the phrase.  Without the writer of them present, there was no way to understand their true meaning. 

Whatever the case was, the words were still imprinted, clearly for all to read if they would take the time.

"I love you Louis."

They seemed foreign to the reader, but held so much passion to the one who wrote them.  They spoke of failure and forgiveness. 

After landing on a nearby leaf, the writing was lifted up once again with the upcoming wind.  They were forgotten, tossed aside by the wind, just as Harry''s story will once be after the last voice has spoken his name.

THE END

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 The end has come, the beginning has past, and the future no longer holds a purpose of explanation.  Did you enjoy it?  I would love to know.

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day.

Author: Sarah Synek.