The Wrong direction (one direction Fan Fic)

chapter 2

     Alright! Chapter 2 of my one direction fan fiction :P  Exciting!  Make sure to vote and comment down below.

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      My breathe hitched in the back of my throat.  My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest.  I had no idea how to answer him.  What could I say?

       Every time I tried to open my mouth, no words would come out.  Louis noticed how I was fighting, and grabbed my arm.  He lead me over to the nearest bench, and sat me down.

    "Harry......" he whispered again.  My hands twitched on my lap and my stomach grumbled.  Why wouldn't it just shut up?

 "Can you tell me why at least? Please!"  He began to plead with me.  Could I tell him?  Could I trust him?  I began to stutter.  "I...I...I.. well..l guess...i."  Again, nothing.  I couldn't speak.  There are no words to describe how I feel.  Understanding my own deli-ma, I just sat there.  For once, I had nothing to say.

 After a few minutes of awkward silence, and just as Louis looked like he was going to say something, the door to the dressing room flew open.  In walked Zayn and Niall.  They looked flushed, like they had been running, and Zayn's hair was matted. 

 "Where have you been?" Zayn questioned breathlessly.  "I've text-ed both of you millions of times, and Niall and I have been running all around the arena looking for the both of you.  We thought that you were hurt!"

  His face softened when he saw me and Louis.  "Are you guys okay?"  He asked, "Cause, Harry, you look really pale."  His eyes pierced through my hoddie, and I felt like he could see through it.  His face was plastered with care and concern.  He began to walk over towards where I was sitting.

 "Yea,"  I said as I stood up, "I'm fine."  I busied myself as I started to brush off my trousers.  Louis stood up and gave me a look that said, 'This is not over'.  I pretended like I didn't notice him.  I silently thanked god for saving me from talking to Louis.  I couldn't talk to him, not now, not here, not ever.

  "Yep, so you guys ready to go." Louis said in a sing song voice.  It was gone in an instant.  The serious, caring Louis disappeared into the excessively hyper, energetic kid that we all knew.  I flashed a smile in both of their directions, showing that I was fine.  It worked.

  Zayn smiled back. "Yeah, so Liam, Niall, and I decided that we should hang out in Liam's suite, because the rest of ours are all trashed up.  Is that okay with you guys?"

 We all nodded.  "Great!  So Liam's waiting in the car for us to come, and he said that we can take the back door out;  no fans are know about that door, so we won't be bothered."  We started shuffling towards the door, and walked out. 

 "Great!" exclaimed Louis.  All of a sudden Niall farted and we all burst out laughing.  Niall's face shown with pure innocents, and it just made me laugh harder.  The more I laughed, though, the more I hurt.  I hurt because I knew that what I was feeling was fake.  I wasn't really happy.  Niall farting wasn't really funny.  I was just playing along, trying to feel something that I couldn't.

 That's why I did what I did.  That's why I don't eat. I need to be in control of my life.  I need to feel something that is real.  I need to feel something that I can control.  That's why I cut too.  At least when I cut I actually feel something.  It's better than feeling this....this..fake reality?  And no one- no one- will be able to understand why I feel the way I do.  Not my mom, not my sister, not my mates, and especially not Louis.