The Wrong direction (one direction Fan Fic)

chapter 14

WOW! We're at chapter 14 already! So so so so so sorry it's taken me so long to update. I swear I will update more often.

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Harry's P.O.V

I could feel my body shake as Louis slammed the door to the room. I could hear his loud footsteps fade away, and I could feel my body begin to heave, but I had nothing to heave up.  I was empty.

 A few tears slipped down my face, and I felt Liam's strong arms wrap around my body and pull me into a hug.  "Haz....." Liam whispered into my ear. "Stop shaking, please." I felt him hold me even tighter, and I let my body fade into his embrace.

I felt hurt.  Louis, the one person who I could totally trust with all my heart and soul had left me.  He was the only one who I could trust.  He was my best friend, even before he found out about my eating disorder.  And that's just it.  Now, he hated me- he hated me for a secret that wasn't his to share.  He hadn't even said goodbye.  He haden't even said sorry.  He just....left.

After awhile, I stopped shaking. I felt dead and exhausted, but at least I didn't feel like I was going to get sick anymore.I slowly got up off of the bathroom floor.  Liam helped me up out of the stall, and walked me over to the sink. I felt like an old woman, who is not able to walk without support from another.  I felt so weak that I could hardly stand.  My vision was blurry, and my heart rate was increasing.  Why was I feeling like this?  What was happening? 

Liam seemed oblivious to anything that I was feeling.  He was concentrating on how I looked other than how I felt. "Harry,"  He simply  said looking into my dim green eyes, " We really should get you out of those clothes." He began to take my shirt off.  I wanted to resist, but I couldn't.  Maybe it was because I was too tired to stop him, or maybe I knew he was going to find out anyway, or maybe it was because I really did want someone to help me and I had been deceiving myself the whole time, but for someone reason, I let the words come out of my mouth.

"I'm anorexic Liam."  I said.  The words hung in the air.  They pierced right through my own heart. I closed my eyes.  I didn't want to see the hurt on his face. Why did I just say that?  Was I  too exhausted to understand stand what I was saying?

I could barely understand anything anymore.  All courage that I had when I was eating was gone.  Al hope that I was feeling to begin my recovery faded into the dimness of the day.  I felt lost and alone. I felt exposed, and I suddenly wished that I could take back what I had just said to Liam.

I could feel Liam shuffle closer to me."What?"  He whispered.  It was almost inaudible.

I didn't want to answer him.  I didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes.  I just kept my eyes closed and whispered back, "I'm anorexic.  I haven't been eating for a couple months now.  And I don't want to take off my shirt because I don't want you to see what I've done to myself."  I hung my head in shame.

After afew minutes I opened my eyes.  I didn't look at him though.  I felt Liam's arms wrap around me  again, and I instantly fell into his embrace.  From the way that his body was shaking, I could tell that he was crying.  I was crying too. 

My tears didn't last long though.  As soon as I realized that I my walls were falling down, I dried away my tears.  I turned away from Liam.  "I'm so sorry." I wanted to leave, but I couldn't.  I felt weak; so weak.  It again dawned on me what I was actually doing to myself.  I was killing myself and everyone around me who even cared once to give a shit about how I felt.  I didn't want to die- I don't want to die.  I don't want this disease to kill me.  I love life.  And I know that I have people here on earth who love me too.  There are people here who love me not for how thin I was or by what I was wearing.  There were people who wouldn't criticize me for how I feel or for what I was doing to myself.  They love me for me.  And these people- these extraordinary people- are here for me.  Liam, Zayn, Niall, and Louis- well probably not Louis anymore, but the others do.  And they're willing to help me get better. 

I turned back to face Liam.  I felt the tears coming back into my eyes.  I bit my lip to push them back.  "Liam, can you help me.  Please?"  I said quietly.  He just nodded.  "Who else knows about this?"  He questioned.  I sighed, and brushed back my curls.  "Louis and Zayn." 

I felt like he was itching to know more.  Like he wanted to know how it all started and how I have kept this big of a secret from him, but I interrupted him.  "Can I go to my room now?  I'm exhausted."  And that was the truth.  I felt drained.  Not just mentally, but physically too.  I felt that if I didn't get some more rest that I might faint.  I was too tired to eat my lunch.  I was too tired to try want help. I felt too tired to even walk to the car. 

I latched onto Liam for support.  He held me tighter.  I think that now he could feel just how thin I was.  I think that he began to process what I was doing to myself.  The secret that I had kept from the world for so long was finally out and I let it escape.  I knew what would come next.  Therapy.  I was going to go through therapy.  I was going to get better.  Did I want it?

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Liam basically carried me to the taxi.  I felt too weak to stand.  I felt myself fading in and our of conciseness.  One second my eyes were open and the next they were closed.  I knew that the other boys were around me.  I could see their faces in the distance.  I couldn't see Louis though.  It was like he had disappeared.    

He had left me.  He was gone.  Maybe my disease scared him too much.  Maybe he couldn't handle my problems; he couldn't handle my scars.  

I knew that we were driving.  I didn't know where.  My head was killing me and it hurt to breathe.  What was happening to me?

Everyone around me was saying something about hospital?  Shock? What?

I couldn't ear my own thoughts.  There was a buzzing in my ear that wouldn't leave.   I couldn't tell what was happening to me.  I heaved- again, and again.  I then fell out of consciousness.  Why?  I was heaving up blood.

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Sorry if you couldn't understand that last part.  It was a little confusing.  And I'm really sorry about not updating for forever.  And this chapter sucked, I know.  I just had to write something.  

I've been super busy so that is what I will use as my excuse for not updating.  And my friend died a little bit ago, and I just haven't felt like writing.  

But yeah, that was the chapter.  Sorry if you hated it.  There is more drama to come.  I love you all, and thanks for all of the votes, reads, and comments.  It means a ton to me :)