He Doesn't Know

Sixteen

I didn't say a word to Connor for the first three days, but it turns out I didn't have to. He knew the whole time. "You can talk about it if you want Vera," Connor all of a sudden brings up at lunch. "What do you mean? Talk about what?" I ask. He gives me a look of I'm not that dumb and patiently waits for me to bring it back up. A sigh escapes me and I begin to fidget with my drink before finally telling him everything, "Fallon and I have broken up. He got to be too much and he let his jealousy take over." Once the words are spoken it only makes me want to start to cry again, but the feeling of Connor's hand grabbing a hold of mine stops me from doing so. "I know you won't believe me, but I'm sorry to hear that. I only want you to be happy," Connor tells me with sincerity in his eyes as I look up at him. "I believe you. I've seen how much you've changed since getting hurt and I truly believe that you meant what you just said," I confess before realizing what I'm saying. Connor smiles at me and gives my hand a squeeze while asking, "Come over to my apartment tomorrow morning and let me cook you breakfast?" I raise my eye brow at him and reply, "I go over to your apartment every morning doofus. However, I'd love for you to make me breakfast just as long as you don't get me sick by not cooking the bacon or eggs long enough." He shakes his head at me and questions, "You'll never let that go will you?" I set my elbow down onto the table and look him in the eyes while answering, "Not for the rest of our lives."

As I'm leaving the dining hall with Connor I catch sight of a blonde haired boy walking in the other direction. I stop dead in my tracks and I can't breathe for a moment as the world stands still, until I realize that it wasn't Fallon. Just someone with the same color and hair style. "Vera it's okay. I'm here for you," I hear Connor's voice say. I look over at the boy on crutches and smile at him. "Thank you, but I think I'm going to go read for my class now. Maybe it will distract me of everything," I say without waiting for a response from Connor.

"You're not even going to hear me out?" Fallon yells at me. There's so many things I want to tell him, but nothing comes out of my mouth no matter how hard I try. I want him to know that I love him more than anything else in this world. I want him to know that I'm breaking without him. I want him to know if I truly let him go I'm afraid it'll take a piece of me too. But nothing comes out. I can only stand here looking at this broken man standing in front of me who I want to reach out to and comfort. Who I want to feel his lips on mine again even just for a second. However, instead he leaves me standing here on my own with all the things I want to say, but don't. I open my eyes and find tears on my cheeks, I've been crying even in my sleep. My dream comes back to me, it's like my own kind of nightmare. Instead of a monster that wants to kill me it's Fallon walking away from me and that kills me every time.

As I'm walking to Connor's place the rain is falling really hard this morning, I find it funny how the weather seems to always know how to make me feel worse. As I'm opening his apartment door I can already smell the bacon and my heart races. "Oh good you're here! Can you get something down for me?" Connor asks right away. I laugh and question, "I thought you were going to be doing everything by yourself and I get to relax?" He puts on a puppy face and gives me a dimpled smile before I cave and go over to where he is. "How can you cook anyway while in crutches?" I ask while I sit on a stool watching him continue to cook. "I've been practicing some things on my own. That way I can do things for you to repay you for everything you do for me on a daily basis," he nonchalantly answers.

"Here you are my lady," Connor says in an attempt of a British accent as he places my plate down in front of me. I laugh and reach out my hand to grab his while pleading, "Please be careful when handling the plates. You're just now getting some strength back and I'd hate to see you fall and hurt yourself even worse." He comes back over to the table and sits across from me while a smile never leaves his face. "Vera it means the world to me that you care," he begins to say, but I interrupt him with, "Connor you've always been a huge part of my life and the thought of you not being here anymore made me realize how important people can be on our lives." He loses his smile and he reaches out for my hand just like yesterday while looking directly in my eyes. "I will never be able to express how sorry I am for everything that I have done to you. I can't believe I haven't even apologized until now. I guess a part of me didn't want to bring up all the wrongs I've done, knowing that I've made you cry so many times. That I was the cause of so much pain that you felt, Vera I'm so sorry," Connor finally tells me the words I thought I'd never hear. I can see water beginning to collect in his eyes and I bite my lip to try to hold back my own tears. "Oh Connor," I whisper as I break down into tears while getting up and going around to the other side of the table to wrap my arms around a hurting man trying to be brave.

On my way back to the dorms I finally catch sight of Fallon for the first time in five days, except neither of us acknowledges the other. I walk past him and take ten steps then the urge to turn around takes over. I stop in my tracks and look back at his walking figure, but right when I do so he turns back around towards me. I'm standing on an empty sidewalk looking at the man I love and I don't have any words to say to him. So we just stand here not saying one word, then one of his friends walk up to him and start to make a conversation. Although, Fallon never takes his eyes off of me, so I make the move to leave and continue to walk. As I'm walking away tears slowly fall down my face, because there was never a time between Fallon and I where it was this bad. Now I know that I can actually lose him.

Geisel is waiting for me downstairs with a cup of my favorite coffee and a smile that lasts until she gets sight of my tears. "I saw Fallon," I inform her right away as I wrap my arms around her in a hug. "Oh Vera, what did he say? What did you say?" she asks while setting the coffee down to put her arms around me. "Nothing. We walked right past each other, then stopped and looked back. But Geisel that was so much worse than actually talking to him, because it made me realize I can actually lose him. I don't want to lose him. I can't," I reply. She pulls me away and looks me in the eye while saying, "Ver I'm going to say something whether you'll get mad or hurt, but it needs to be said. I don't think Fallon will ever forgive Connor for what he did, I didn't even understand why you did at first. But the fact that Fallon doesn't like you around Connor isn't jealously, he's afraid Connor will hurt you again. The moment you put your trust in Connor, you gave him the chance to break you once again. That reason right there will forever be the reason Fallon won't forgive Connor, because Fallon has seen everything Connor has done to you and he's now putting his foot down." I take a step back while shaking my head and ask, "How long have you been holding that in? Do you even know Connor now? Why can't anybody see how different he is, but me?" Geisel stands her ground and answers with, "You've always defended him even now as you know you're losing Fallon. If you say he's changed, then maybe it's you that hasn't." Then Geisel walks away with the coffee she brought me.

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Thank you to everyone reading! Please comment below and vote, I love to hear what you have to say.

Also I can now finally say there is eight more chapters left of the story! As much as I loved writing this story every book has an end. On another note I have started another story called, "The Truth". I'll post the first chapter once this book is finished and in a couple of chapters I'll post the summary of it.

Well until next week :)