He Doesn't Know

Nine

I've been in my room staring at the wall across from my bed. I don't feel anything anymore, I'm numb. The worst part is Geisel and Fallon are trying so hard to make me feel better. They're always here doing things to comfort me, but it doesn't work. The past week has been hell, I keep playing back everything in my head. How could I not know he was a monster? Was I that blind? He only wanted to use me to show me off, to show he was the best guy. He never even loved me. He never loved me. Never loved me. It won't go away. This pain won't go away. My phone buzzes and I glance down seeing an unknown number. I open the text message and read, 

Hey it's Foster, the guy you ran into. Can you meet me in an hour to exchange notes?

I groan, I don't want to meet up with this guy. I mean what kind of name is Foster? However, I was the one that ruined his notes. I sigh and reply, 

Yeah sure where?

He responds rather quickly with the address. I get out of bed and walk up to my mirror. I cringe at my appearance. I can't even remember the last time I took a shower, since this whole weekend I stayed in bed. I smell my armpits and gag. I suppose I have enough time for a shower.

When I step back into the room from the shower, I find Geisel with a huge smile on her face. "Well what motivated you to get out of bed and clean up?" she asks me. I just glare at her, I don't want her sarcasm right now. "That guy I ran into days ago, Foster, he texted me saying he wanted to get together to write my notes," I tell her while brushing my hair and then just pulling it back. I go to grab my bag and leave. "Wait! You're just going to leave in saggy pants and shirt, with no make-up on and your hair pulled back in a messy wet bun?" she asks. I stop before I step out and look back at her. "Yeah Geisel I don't give a crap," I reply truthfully. She smiles softly at me and says, "I'm just happy you got out of bed and showered." I shake my head at her and then close the door behind me.

It's slightly rainy out today, totally matching my mood. I laugh at this and get a few glances from people around me, jeez it's like people can't laugh to themselves these days. I notice Foster in the teahouse before I enter. He sees me when I walk through by waving his hand. "Wow you look like shit," he comments once I reach the table. I sit down and tell him sarcastically, "Wow you know how to make a lady feel special. For your information though I know I look like shit and I don't care." He smiles at that and tells me, "I love your confidence." I feel like another day I would've maybe blushed, but right now I let his comment rush over me. "So Foster here are my notes," I say while handing over my notebook. "I must warn you though, my handwriting is messy," I add. He laughs and opens the journal, then comments, "This is like clear as day compared to mine." I laugh, which surprises me. Did I really just laugh? "Oh so you aren't a grouch," Foster tells me while glancing up at me from copying my notes. I raise my eyebrows at him. He laughs and continues with, "Since you got in here, you had this fuck everybody look on your face. But you just laughed, meaning you actually have feelings." I smile again and break into laughter. Who is this guy? "Just keep copying Foster," I tell him while shaking my head. He gives me another smile then looks down again.

We're leaving the teahouse and walk back in the direction of my dorm. "So I meant to tell you I love the look you're pulling off. I'd try it out, but I feel like people might not let me into places. Considering they might think I live on the streets," Foster tells me. I look his way and gasp, then bust out laughing and push him. "Shut up I do not look like a hobo," I tell him. He laughs and asks, "Really?" I roll my eyes and reply, "Even so I'd like to think I'd be a much hotter hobo than you." Foster fake gasps and places his hand over his heart, "You've just broken my heart Vera." I smile and shake my head at him. "Where do you live?" I ask him. "The dormitory off of East 25th street," he replies. I squeal and tell him, "So do I!" He laughs and tells me, "You got way too excited over that." I smack him and defend myself, "No I did not. I got the appropriate amount of excited-ness in this situation." I look over at him and he's covering his mouth trying not to laugh a lot. "I have no idea what you just said," he tells me. We've made it to the dorm, so I tell him, "Well this is where we depart." He frowns a bit and I can tell he wants to say something, but words aren't coming out. "Just say it, whatever you want to say," I tell him. He looks at me with surprise, like I figured out his secret or something. "We should hang out again. Grab dinner or lunch, I also like breakfast too," he tells me. I smile at his awkwardness and say, "I like all those meals too, for sure we should Foster." He smiles really big and nods his head. "Ok then see ya, until next time Vera," he says while walking away.

I walk into my dorm and find Geisel still there, working hard on her computer. "Hello," I tell her with a smile. She screams and jumps up, "What have you done with Vera?!" I mock laugh and go to lay down on my bed. "I'm guessing hanging out with Foster was fun? I must meet this magical guy. How did he ever turn your attitude completely around?" she asks. "I don't know I found myself laughing and smiling with him. Maybe it's because he never brought up anything about what's been going on with me," I reply. Geisel gives me a sweet smile and places her hand to her heart while telling me, "I'm happy for you, he sounds like a good guy to be your friend. You need someone new in your life, to get away from all this madness." I go up to her and give her a hug while saying, "I'm grateful to have a best friend like you in my life." We separate and she says, "Stop. You're going to make me cry." I laugh and go back to my bed.

"I think he asked me out", I blurt out. Geisel asks, "What do you mean you don't know?" I look her direction and reply, "Well he said we should hang out again, but it wasn't implied to be a date." She has an expression, like she's thinking. "Hhmm you're right that's tricky," she finally says. "Well I'll face that whenever it occurs, but I don't want to be dating anyone right now. I haven't even talked to Fallon about him claiming to love me yet," I tell her. She smiles again and tells me, "I think it's a good thing that you don't date right now, but I'm excited that Fallon loves you. I can see it now looking back." I roll my eyes at her, she's such a helpless romantic. "Don't judge me," she comments as if she read my mind. "I never even asked about your love life. Did you talk to Dylan?" I ask her realizing I haven't been a great friend lately. She frowns slightly and replies, "We broke up. He knew the plan and I don't want to be with a person like that." I sigh and feel bad, to not think about how she's feeling about all this. "I'm sorry I haven't been here for you", I tell her. She looks over at me and says, "It's ok Vera. Helping you has actually helped me. Your situation was much worse, made me realize I got lucky." I gasp and throw my pillow at her. She laughs and eventually I begin to laugh along too.

Three Weeks Later

Once I see Fallon's blonde hair, I run up behind him and wrap my arms around him. He laughs and holds my arms close to him. "Hello beautiful," he says out loud. I let go and walk around to sit down next to him in the booth. He scoots me close by placing his arm around my shoulder. "Have I told you that I love how you're back to the Vera I love?" he asks. I laugh and shake my head no. "Well I love it," he adds. I lean into him and ask, "I've never been here, what's good?" He flips the menu open and replies, "Honestly I just get the California club every time." I smile and tell him, "You know that's my favorite." He laughs and says, "I know my love, but it's also my favorite." I like to hear him call me love and how his face lights up when he sees me. I place a small kiss on his cheek, then realize what I just did. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that," I quickly tell him. He smiles at me and explains, "You don't have to apologize. I know you don't want to date anyone at this point and I completely get it now. But I'm here for you, patiently waiting and loving you until you're ready." I feel secure right now. The idea of having someone love me, to actually love me feels great. I know when I'm ready to be with someone again, he'll be there. I don't need anyone else except for Fallon. "Thank you Fallon, I love to hear that. You make me feel warm inside," I tell him. Then the waiter comes by and we order the same thing.

"So Geisel tells me Foster was the one to get you to come back. I'd like to meet him," Fallon casually brings up. I look at his expression to make sure he's not hiding anything, like an ulterior motive. Then I stop. I don't need to do this with him, because he's not Connor. Fallon tells me how he feels, he tells me the truth and I don't need to doubt Fallon like I've learned to do with Connor. So I reply, "Yeah I would love that. He's a really good guy and nice friend. We've hung out a lot and I always feel comfortable around him. But for sure I should introduce him to you and Geisel." After the first time I met up with Foster, we hung out a couples of times a week and have become good friends. Which I talked that over with him, he actually has a girlfriend back in his hometown. Fallon smiles and nods. I lean my head against his shoulder and say, "Tell me all about your day." He laughs softly and begins to account everything. I listen along, but can't help and drift to my thoughts. I'm here with Fallon and completely happy in my life right now. I smile at this, life is crazy. He doesn't know yet, that I'm slowly starting to fall for him.