They Call Me Lunatic

Chapter Nineteen: Little Riley Jr.

My mind did not give me a break all night. My thoughts roamed in every direction, and somehow they all ended with me thinking of Kieran. I wanted to know what he was doing and how he was feeling. I didn't know if he was hungry or thirsty. I didn't know if he was okay or if he was in absolute pain. I didn't know, and it was driving me insane. My thoughts made sleep impossible. I tossed and turned and occasionally just stared at the white ceiling above me.

By the time morning came, I was a bit of an emotional mess. I'd already cried twice through the night thinking about what could happen if I couldn't control my wolf during training. I didn't want to think about it, but it was inevitable. I was terrified, and I tended to overthink about things that I was scared of.

By the time it was 5 a.m., I couldn't stand laying in my bed much longer. I pushed myself out of it and wandered into my bathroom to get ready for the day. I enjoyed having a bathroom in my room at first because that meant I didn't have to leave my room very much. I could just stay put where no one would bother me until it was time to see Kieran. Now, it just annoys me that almost everything I need to live is all in my little room. It honestly made me mad that I didn't really have a reason to leave other than food and water. I didn't want to go meet new people, but at the same time I did. In my own little mind, it made sense for me to just sit in my room and pout like a five year old. If I couldn't see Kieran, then no one was going to make me leave, but then again, I wanted a reason to get out. I hated it in here now. I hated the wall color, the window sills, the doors, the flooring. I just hated all of it.

I decided to just hop into the shower. It didn't make much sense because I had gotten one before I went to bed, but I was hoping the hot water would wash away all of my problems. It didn't. It was a decent distraction, but as soon as I stepped out to put on some clothes on, Kieran flooded my thoughts again. With a tired frown, I just threw on some blue underwear that were nothing like the ones Marilyn bought me, a grey sports bra, some black, Nike running shorts and a purple t-shirt. I didn't bother with socks. I always hated socks growing up. I didn't like the way they felt on my feet.

I exited my room after finishing whatever else I needed to do not expecting to see as many people as I had. There weren't a lot of people out but it was more than I thought there would be. I'd noticed in the time that I was here that most of the people living in the pack house were teens or young adults. I assumed it was this way due to mated couples wanted to get their own houses to raise their own families.

I made my way all the way to the kitchen without making direct eye contact with anyone. I didn't have to look at them to know that they were all looking at me. I would too if my Alpha's kidnapped daughter returned after seventeen years with a group of shredders who like killing for sport (well, that's what Alex says).

I went to the kitchen hoping to grab a bowl of cereal or even a banana, but instead found something else. I found her blue eyes before they had the opportunity to find mine. She was placing a box on the kitchen table that seemed a bit heavy. She shot me a gorgeous smile, and again, I was questioning how I turned out looking this way with a mother like her. Everyone around me seemed so gorgeous, and then here I am.

"Do you need help?" I asked hesitantly. She dropped the box with a bang.

"Honestly, yes, but I'm fine," Alex said shooing me away. I was about to turn around and leave when I remembered what Kieran had said before. I mean, the least that I could do for him was try to get along with him. It was obvious that he must have had issues with his parents growing up. He knew how much I wanted to meet them, and he didn't want this whole issue messing up my dreams of getting to know my parents.

"Its no problem," I said shaking my head. "I want to spend some time with you," I sort of forced myself to say. I wanted to spend time with Kieran, Marilyn, and Bolton, but at the same time I knew a part of me wanted nothing more than to spend time with Alex.