Chapter 5

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The lecture wore on into the late evening, as previous lectures had done so before. By its end Alexis had never felt more amazed at Vincent's piquant talent for showmanship. Today's show had produced an outstanding eight more followers and yet at least twenty or so more deserters, though traitors like them were rarely missed.

She stayed behind afterwards once everyone else had gone to personally congratulate him and he invited her to the deserted bar for their usual talk before he locked up.

'Sorry about before,' she murmured, following him away from the growing dark of the auditorium as the lights shut off one by one. Vincent pulled a smile when he knew she wasn't looking, removing his hand from the switchboard. He was now all too unashamedly glad that he'd gone through with calling her out of work again.

'You were right about me,' she confessed to him openly. The dim, greenish light of the fire exit signs concealed the pink in her cheeks. 'I'm really glad I came, today was a great show.'

'I know,' Vincent replied with smug undertones, feeling his way up to the upper rows taking great care not to miss a step. 'What a way to do a last show right?'

'You had them cringing in their seats!' she exclaimed buoyantly and they shared a brief laugh.

No one mentioned the traitors, they were as good as forgotten.

'Yeah, well that has its pros and cons. D'you think they'll actually show up?'

'Sure they will,' she assured him quickly, quick enough to mimic confidence. 'You guys are gonna blow everyone away.'

'Wait.'

Vincent stopped dead.

'You sound like you're not going to be there,' his voice was dangerously low and sounded almost hurt, upset even.

'Yeah, I need to talk to you about that,' Alexis sighed as she cautiously overtook, taking the lead with him for what may have been the very first time.

Minutes later Vincent was watching, dumbstruck as she rummaged around the makeshift kitchen behind the bar. When she returned she had two steaming mugs of decaffeinated sludge in her hands. Alexis, tempted by the easily accessible vessels of Vodka, Gin and Whiskey settled for the crap coffee as she needed to be at her soberest for tonight's encounter.

'So what's this all about?' Vincent demanded, completely ignoring the cup placed in front of him. 'Are you running out on us?'

'No,' Alexis said immediately, cradling her cup for warmth. 'But...'

'But what? Will you or won't you be there?'

Alexis refused to meet his searching eyes as she knew there would be nothing but disappointment and contempt in their shining depths.

'I...' she trailed off, failing to find the words she could ease him down gently with. 'I can't say, it's not that easy to explain.'

'Try me,' he said impatiently.

'Well...' she trailed off again. 'I know that I made you a promise and I want to - I will keep it, but...'

'But?' he repeated again.

'But I made another promise to someone else.'

'Listen Alexis,' sensing danger Vincent abandoned his coffee and drew himself nearer. 'We've known each other for what, almost a year now?'

Alexis shrugged while Vincent preyed closer.

'And when I found you at the edge looking down at the water... You were so ready to go.'

It was amazing to Alexis how silent the building was in their solitude, each word spoken repeating over and over again as it carried down the corridors, reverberating throughout the entire structure.

'I was,' she admitted, her back firmly against the bar, still avoiding eye contact. There was no easy way to tell him the truth.

'And do you remember what I said to you that day, the first day we met?'

Vincent now faced her directly and Alexis had no choice but to acknowledge him. She set her cup down on the bar to decrease the chances of burning him. A hand emerged from the folds of his jacket and placed itself on her lanky shoulder. It remained there awkwardly for several moments before Alexis shrugged it off out of guilt.

'I'll never forget,' she told him in a faltering whisper.

For a while nobody said anything. The two just stood, heads bowed in embarrassment until Alexis summoned up the courage to break away from the intimacy.

'I'm sorry. I've made my choice,' she broke the silence softly, as sympathetic as she could manage. 'I can't do this anymore...'

A fresh wave of dread crashed over Vincent, drowning his confidence, his aspiration, his lust. The impossible words ate away at his defences, cannibalizing him, reducing him to a frightened child with only fear and uncertainty left to misguide him. He couldn't speak, or breathe for that matter. All he could do was stand there in disbelief and watch as Alexis's own defences crumbled away by her own hand.

'He, he's fading away from me Vincent,' she stammered, eyes glistening with tears. 'I feel like I, like I don't even know him anymore I, need to... Need to be with him. I have to make this right, I have to.'

Still in shock Vincent was at a loss for words. There was nothing he could say to turn this around. He'd lost the battle before it had even started. All, it seemed, had been sacrificed in vain.

Before it could get any worse Vincent pulled her into his embrace and accepted his defeat. Each distorted and muffled cry hammered the nail in deeper. As he gingerly held her delicate, trembling frame he suddenly realised the impossible.

He was going to die alone.

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