The Inseparable Twins

Yves: A Change?

My heart squeezed in my chest and I furrowed my brows as Ian looked up at me, his voice quivering as he asked that one question I truly dread. I bit the inside of my cheek trying to figure out what to say that I haven't already. This physically pains me when he asks me things like this, because I can usually tell what's going on through his mind. I know I can't truly relate to what he's going through but I'm always trying my best.

I know that he's like this because of me. We don't really talk about it, but I know it's true. He couldn't protect me as much as he would have liked and he blames himself for what we've been put through. I do admit, that yes, it's kind of difficult when I remember some of the incidents, having that fear and pain wash over me as if it just happened. What's done is done, and we can't go back to change it. It's made us who we are today!

Through my thoughts, Ian brought me back by tightening his hold on my hand. There was a lot of mental pain between us and it was hard to even get the words out. I clenched my jaw as I was still thinking it over and I could hear chatter in the corridor from the open door. "Ian, I know this isn't easy. And I know that what I say may never change your mind or convince you.." I paused and swallowed down a lump in my throat. "But I worry about you because I love you. You're my brother, my family and my other half. I don't know what I would do with myself if you weren't by my side." My voice cracked towards the end as I fought off tears. I let go of the door and dropped my bag on the ground as I pulled Ian to me, grasping him in a tight hug. He clung to me as usual and began crying with all his might. I wove my fingers in his hair and nestled my cheek on top of his head. What is it that I can do to help him feel better..?

We went through the day like always, stares and whispers from the other students as we passed them in the hall and occasionally notes and rolled up pieces of paper tossed our way. Ian always stuck close to me in the hall when changing classes and we always sat together too. He was awfully quite today, more so than usual. It troubles me thinking that he might get worse and that I might actually lose him. I wish he could understand just how precious he is to me...

Changing from our math class to our fantasy, our teacher greeted us and that was followed by a warm smile. "Well good afternoon, Yves, Ian! Are you excited for today's lesson?" She asked us as she handed a packet to each of us. "Ms. Douglas, are these packets about the original works from the Grimm brothers?" I asked excitedly. I peeked towards Ian who was flipping through the packet and found one page that seemed to interest him. Ms. Douglas perked up as she saw the title on Ian's packet. "Oh, Ian! That's one of my personal favorites, maybe you would like it too!" She said happily as I read the title out loud, "Hans My Hedgehog, Tale no. 108? I don't know a lot of tales from the Brothers Grimm. Will this be our new subject for the term?" I was interested about it since I haven't read much from them.

Ms. Douglas just seemed to be brimming with happiness. "You're very right, Yves. The brothers Grimm and their tales will be our new study subject. I'm hoping that everyone will enjoy it as much as I do!" She exclaimed while she had an air of radiance about her. She gets excited about stuff easily but not quite like this.

The class seemed to go by quickly and I truly enjoyed learning a lot more about the brothers Grimm and their works. Ian even showed some interest and that made me unbelievably happy. Once the bell rang, Ian and I packed up our things, said by to Ms. Douglas and headed on our way down to the bus. On our way down, Ian had his face buried in the brothers Grimm book we had gotten from Ms. Douglas and bumped into my back a few times.

I let out a rumble of laughter after he bumped into me again before getting on to the bus. He looked up from his book, face flushed red with embarrassment and asked "What...what are you laughing at?" I couldn't help but think how cute he looked with his face all red like that. It didn't even look as if he had depression. I smile brightly, trying to hold back more laughter as my eyes start to water. "You're really into that book, huh? I haven't seen you taking interest in something in a long time." I giggle and wipe my eyes with the cuff of my sleeve. "I find it funny how you're so absorbed in it that, that you keep bumping into me." He closed the book immediately and looked away from my quickly and mumbled "I have no idea what you're talking about.."

We boarded the bus and sat in front like we did this morning, but instead of him feeling uneasy and upset, it felt as if there was a change in him but I wasn't sure. I want to keep a close eye on him for a while though. Maybe this is the break he needs to get out of his depression, and with a little nudging and and support, I'm sure he'll be fine. But it did make me curious though, can people with depression come out of it this quickly? Or maybe it's just a fluke?

I just kept thinking about it the whole way home, thinking of all the possibilities and outcomes of every situation. I chewed over every thought on this and came to the conclusion that next time I'm in the library, I'll pick up some books about depression and see if I can gather any kind of information on it. Ian was sitting quietly next to me, buried in his book again. He looked so calm like this and I felt relief throughout my body watching him. I didn't know why, but just seeing him like this makes me hopeful that he'll be okay. "Hey, Ian, do you want to play some video-" I was cut short by a small girl who accidentally tripped over a bag strap on the floor. She grabbed hold of my shoulder without realizing as to keep from falling over completely. Ian looked over at us almost stunned by the whole thing. Her face was pale, and she was out of breath as if she ran all the way to the bus.

"I-I'm so sorry! I'm really really sorry! I didn't mean to grab on to you!" She exclaimed with tears in her eyes. Her big eyes were bright green like fresh grass and I could smell a vanilla perfume from her jacket. She had short purple hair that was tousled every which way and curled at the ends. Freckles covered her whole face especially across her nose, it looked cute. She looked terrified and mortified all at the same time as she tried to untangle her foot from the bag. She apologized once again as she freed herself and hurried to the very back of the bus. Ian and I were left speechless and it took me a moment to process what just happened.

"Did that really just happen?" Ian asked me with wide and  confused eyes. I stared at him for a moment and said "I guess it did." I didn't really know what else to say on the matter since I was still confused myself.