Love Factually #JustWriteIt

12) Bang My Head

"You hardly ever gave him a chance, Taylor. He's a good guy once you get to know him."

"I'm sure he is."

She sighed. "Let's not argue about this, okay? Just...think it over, please."

I nodded and continued my sorting in silence. I could feel my anger rising and I squeezed my eyes shut to dispel it.

I loved Hailey more than I loved my own sister, but if there was one thing that we could never seem to agree on, it was her choice in men. They were usually of the major asshole variety and that contrasted terribly with her softhearted temperament.

She slumped her shoulders with a sad pout. "Are you seriously giving me the silent treatment?"

Wordlessly, I unfolded a towel and tossed it aside before making my way to the washing machine to check on the current load.

"You know, you were the one that brought him up. You can't just get angry and shut down because you don't like the aftereffect."

I raised my brow. "I can't?"

"Sometimes you're so immature," she muttered. "Why can't you learn to deal with things as they come, instead of bottling it up and letting it fester until you're so angry that you can't think clearly? I thought you would've learned that at least after losing Brian."

Tears stung my eyes when her words hit home. "Are you saying that it's my fault he left?"

She shook her head. "What? No! No, of course not. That's not what I meant."

I crossed my arms. "Then what did you mean?"

"It's just that sometimes when you're mad, you don't listen to anything else. You just see your anger and that's it. I don't even know why I mentioned Brian and for that I'm sorry, but you do have a problem with managing your anger, Taylor."

"If I'm angry it's because you're not angry enough. You give out forgiveness like its Candy on Halloween!" I said heatedly. "You let people walk all over you and I'm not allowed to be angry?"

She frowned, "We were talking about something else entirely, how did the conversation get to me being a pushover?"

"About the same time it got to me driving Brian away."

"That's not fair, Tay. I never said that. See, this is what I'm talking about. You're pissed because of something that came out wrong and now you won't let it go, will you?"

"Came out wrong?" I stared at her in disbelief. "That's all it is to you? A statement that came out wrong? You had no right to say that! None!"

"I know and I really am sorry. You know I didn't mean it like that." She sighed. "I just wanted to make a point and that was a really stupid way to do it."

"Okay."

"Okay as in 'we're good', okay? Or okay as in 'I want you to leave now', okay?"

"Just okay." I retook my seat on the floor and continued sorting. On some level I guess I understood where she was coming from and I knew that she didn't mean to say it, but the fact remains that it was already said and that hurt because it was thoughts like those that plagued my mind all on its own without confirmation from the one person who should've been on my side.