The Savage

Thirty One

"Jaynie."

"Frank, I-"

"Your ma's in the house. She's expectin' you." He turned his back to me and my wounded heart cracked a little more as I fought back tears. Wanting to throw myself at his feet, I swallowed hard.

"Frank, I'm sorry."

"Too late." He spoke without looking and my breath caught. "You can't go through life bein' sorry later, sometimes you have to have the self-control to not act in the first place."

"I know that now."

"Do you?" He faced me fully at last, fire snapping in his eyes. "I ain't certain of that."

"I understand now, I do. I've been looking so long for a place to belong that I couldn't see what was right in front of me. I was selfish, and thoughtless- blind to everything you've tried to teach me, but I see now, I do. Please," I was begging, and knew it. "What can I do, father? How can I prove it to you?"

"You can't."

"Please...please Frank? This is my home, this is where I want to be. Anything you say, anything, I'll do it, just don't send me away again."

"One year." He said it suddenly, harshly. "One year without a slip. You manage that, I might start to have faith that my girl is in there somewhere."

"Anything, only-"

"No, no exceptions."

"It's not for me." Stepping forward I reached out but stopped shy of touching his arm. "Wind Runner is out there somewhere; I just know he survived the attack on his village. I need to find him,"

"You don't deserve it."

"No, I don't," shaking my head, I let my heartbreak show through the tears in my eyes, fighting to keep my lips from quivering. "But he does, father. He hasn't done anything wrong...he's only loved me, and saved my life. Please?"

"That parcel of land you wanted," understanding suddenly blossomed in Frank's eyes. "You were thinkin' of him."

"Yes. I love him...and if he'll marry me, I want to live nearby...with your blessing."

"So you're askin' now?"

"Yes." Knowing I was on shaky ground, realizing I had to learn to depend on others, I met his hard gaze. "If you say no, I won't object, but I'm asking, please."

"You hurt me girl...worse than I ever thought you could. You gotta know that."

"I do."

"You can't ever lose control like that again...ever. No more walkin' your own path without tellin' me what's goin' on with you."

"I swear it to you...I won't, ever again."

"Alright," sighing, shaking his head, Frank studied me critically. "Go let your ma know you're okay, then we'll go. Your horse came back last night, and I don't think she's slept a wink."

"Have you?"

"Never you mind, go on now." It felt like a rebuff, a rejection of my concern and my stomach clenched.

"I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused," twisting my fingers nervously, I met his eyes. "I wanted to kill him, so badly, but I knew you would hate it, how you felt about killing...I guess...I guess I wanted you to know that."

"Then I reckon that's one step on the right path." He grinned faintly, and a small smile answered him.

"What's going to happen to Toby now?"

"I figure he got what he deserved, so I warned him as soon as he's able to stay in a saddle he better start ridin' or I'm liable to shoot him. I ever see him on my land again, I'll kill him for certain. I think Al had a few words to add to that too."