In Another Life (Dan and Phil X Reader)

Chapter 11: I Love Phil

Last night had been a rough one for you. As it was, you'd gotten home late from the convention with Dan and Phil. You'd gone straight to your room, claiming to need some alone time to think. Your YouTubers kept trying to see if you needed anything, but you denied their offers to bring you dinner.
You paced around in circles in your room for a few hours. You could hear Dan and Phil moving around outside too, and at one point you put your ear to the door to listen to what they were saying.
"How do you think she's doing in there?" you heard Phil ask. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach. It was sweet that he was so worried about you.
"I don't know. I hope she's not crying," Dan replied. "I think girls just need more time to sort these things out sometimes." Nice, Dan, you thought sarcastically.
"She has to be hungry. Maybe she'll want pizza?" That was Phil again. As Phil spoke the word pizza, you realized that you were pretty hungry. But no! You would not let yourself eat until you'd decided what to do.
You plopped down on the bed with a sigh and stared out the window. You approached it, and the stars twinkled back at you silently, offering no advice. You thought of the day that you'd spent with Phil at the zoo, and managed to find his hamster constellation again.
Before the zoo had closed that day, Phil had insisted on getting you something from the gift shop. He ended up finding a small stuffed lion that was almost identical to the one that he kept on his own dresser. You let him buy it for you, and now it sat on your dresser next to a framed selfie of you and Phil. You picked your little lion up and gave it a tight squeeze, needing to have it close to you. You looked back out at the stars. Maybe they had given you some advice after all. They'd reminded you of who you truly loved.
And really, you'd known in your heart all along- you were in love with Phil.
He was your sunshine, always seeing the best in people- seeing the best in you. His genuine optimism, his innocence and his sweet sense of humor. He was nerdy, but in the best possible way. His heart was probably twice the size of a normal human being's, and his smile could light up a room. He was one of the best humans you'd ever known. And he was perfect for you.
You were currently wearing a sweater decorated with little cats and dogs. It was something that Phil would wear. Without even realizing it, you were mimicking his style because you admired him so much.
Admired him. Yes, not only did you love him, you admired him, too. He was your role model. His optimism and his emotional strength were things that you strived for.
Some people thought Phil was annoying. Some people said that Phil was only popular because of Dan. You wanted to punch those people in the face.
Dan and Phil, but particularly Phil, had saved your life. You couldn't understand how people could say those things about your hero.
You loved when he would talk excitedly about anime, and you loved his relatable stories- you could listen to his voice for hours. You closed your eyes, taking in a deep breath. You would love to hear his voice right now. You hoped that he still wanted to hear yours.
He had seemed pretty upset to learn that you were also in love with Dan. Rightfully so, as now that the two universes had combined, you couldn't have romantic feelings for two men. It just wasn't right. When you were with Phil and when you were with Dan, you felt like two different people, because it had been two different worlds. You'd had to decide which person you wanted to be. Now you knew.
Phil had stolen your heart, and you needed to make sure he knew that it was his.
Of course, you'd have to disappoint Dan. But he was easily likable and had so many fangirls that you were sure he'd find someone else soon.
Phil, on the other hand, didn't have as many fans. He tended to be stepped on or overlooked. You wanted to keep him safe from all of that. You wanted to be his number one cheerleader for when he felt down about himself.
But how would you tell him all of this? You couldn't just run up to him and say it. Would those three simple words, "I love you," express how you truly felt about him?
You'd already said "I love you" to both Phil and Dan. You needed something more convincing than that.
And as much as you wanted to sit in your room and think about Phil forever, it'd be best to get past your nerves and just go tell him. Everything would feel better and brighter once you were with him.
You checked your phone for the time- it was a little bit after 1 a.m. Usually you stayed up much later than this, but the convention and the stress of the day was getting to you. You had every intention of going to find Phil right away, but before you knew it, your eyes were unwillingly closing. You fell asleep in your clothes, with the lights still on.

When you woke next, the lights were off. You sat up quickly. The sky was starting to lighten up, but the sun hadn't quite risen all the way. Pretty pink and orange light filtered through your curtains- although you hadn't remembered closing them. You were still holding your stuffed lion, tucked safely between your arm and chest.
There was a box on your dresser, and as your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you saw that it was a pizza box. Phil's own stuffed lion sat on top of it, along with a hand-written note. Lion was worried that you were hungry, so I got you some cheese pizza. A huge smile broke out across your face. Phil hated cheese, but he'd still made sure to get your favorite pizza. You wiped at your face, shocked to find a tear there. Okay. That was it. You needed to find Phil and tell him, now.
Leaving the pizza untouched, you pushed the door open and hurried to the lounge. Phil was sitting on the couch, watching TV, but Dan was nowhere to be seen. He was probably sleeping, since it was around 4 a.m.
"Phil," you said urgently. He turned around instantly, concern swimming in his blue eyes. "(Y/N)? It's so early. Is everything okay?"
Your voice was panicky, and since you'd gotten up without even bothering to look in the mirror, you guessed that your hair was everywhere. There were probably dark circles underneath your eyes, too. No wonder he sounded so worried.
"I'm fine, Phil. Really. No, actually, I'm great. I finally realized that I'm in love with you, and it feels awesome." You finally realized what three words would do your feelings justice, even more so than I love you.
"I need you."
Phil stood up from the couch and walked over to you. He looked shocked at first, as if he thought you were pulling a joke on him.
An infectious smile came over his face, and soon you were smiling, too.
"Thank you," he whispered. You shook your head persistently. "What? No! Thank you! You've saved my life, Phil, and when I look at you, I'm in my happy place. You're amazing. You're Amazing Phil." You giggled a bit at your own joke.
Phil pulled you to him, cuddling you. Phil Lester hugging you had to be the best feeling in the whole world. He was wearing flannel today, and you pressed into him, closing your eyes contentedly. He eventually pulled back so he could kiss you. Okay, maybe Phil's kisses were actually the best feeling in the world.
When he pressed his lips to yours, it felt like a breath of fresh air. Like he was breathing life into you.
You knew you'd made the right choice. Phil was your sun, and you were the flower that thrived on his light.

(Author's Note: If you're wondering whether or not this is the last chapter, never fear! I'm writing at least fifteen, and then it'll be finished. If it's popular enough by that point, I may consider continuing. But it's unlikely that I will, as I'd like to move on to new stories!)