MANAN - Cloud with a Silver Lining

5-The Man's Stance

Oh god...Not again...!!...I mentally slapped myself...It was my imagination of her to be someone that she wasn't and my stubbornness to be nothing less than what I thought of myself that led to our fall out... I can't let that happen again...As remorseful as I was of my actions, I was equally angry with her...Agreed..!! ....I was stubborn arrogant monster but then she knew she was the only one who could transform me into a headstrong modest human..but she gave up on me...I knew I had given her pain but wasn't our love worthy enough of a second chance...She left me because I was stubborn but I wonder if she realized that she herself had turned into a inflexible soul...She didn't meet me once when I lost my parents 4 years ago..wasn't that being adamant..??...My friends they messaged her about my miserable state but she refused to budge in...she knew she was the only one who could heal me and fill in the emptiness that I felt but NO...!!...She never came...instead sent her ideas through them...she assumed that I was stupid..So Stupid that when my friends used different ideas to cheer me up, I would think they the ideas are their brain-child and not hers...Well to her dismay I am not that stupid...I knew it right from the start...right when Cabir said we should camping in the woods since he was bored of the monotonous life...or when Mukti and Alya made cheesecakes because they wanted to learn baking or when Dhruv woke me up at 2 at night only to accompany him for a late night bike ride or when Navya decided to tag me along to an Old age home only because she was finding it hard to manage the gifts she had bought the people living there...I knew it..I knew it all..but I guess she didn't know that all I needed to heal was her EMBRACE and not her IDEAS..or May be she knew but was too stubborn to accept it..But in all that I also realized how far she had gone...and I decided to detach myself too...I categorically asked my friends not to discuss about me with her and after a few disagreements they obliged..

My friends loved Nandini...they missed her a lot...Over the years they had cultivated a habit of not agreeing with my decisions easily especially whenever the decisions were related to Nandini in any way what-so-ever...I don't blame them....after the incidents of the past they strictly followed the principle , "Once bitten twice shy"...So though they agreed to my demand they still spoke about her..the messages they sent to her...her replies...they kept her alive in their lives....As for me I "tried" my best to make an cordial atmosphere around without any discomfort...initially it was difficult..but then slowly and gradually I got used to it...

I wouldn't lie after she left, I kept holding on to rope of HOPE for quite some time...but then her aloofness at the time of my parent's death, probably the worst time of my life, somewhat made me indifferent too and I unhooked myself from the rope while my friend were still glued to it...I realized that the different roads we had taken will never intersect at any point...A HARSH REALIZATION but was truthful one..!!

A year later after my parent's death, I met Abhi for an Album contract...I was stunned to see him but as we were meeting for professional reason, I decided not to bring in personal issues...Also by the time I met Abhi, I had detached myself from the worldly emotions including Love..My professional life had acquired the supreme position in my life..Immersing myself in work was my way of not feeling the pain... I did make an effort to be with my friends and extended family whenever I could...Surprisingly I and Abhi became good friends in a short span of time.. Our wavelengths matched...our approach towards work was always professional just the way either of us liked it...Abhi's relationship with Mukti was an icing on our friendship cake...I knew Abhi was perfect for my sister..I somehow had a belief that Abhi would never hurt my sister because if there was one of the things these Murthy siblings were good at was that they never judged anyone based on their past or future..the only valid judging criteria for them was the Present...and at present Mukti and Abhi were best for each other...!!.

Becoming friends with Abhi also gave me an insight to a cruel reality...I realized that me or my friends were not the only ones whom Nandini had left..She left her family too...God..!! This girl..she would drive me crazy one day...What is she punishing them for or for that matter what is she punishing herself for...??....I knew she would be hurting herself being alone but why is she doing that...why doesn't she come back...Why was she pushing herself to into darkness..?? Did she not realize how much her family missed her when they celebrated the success of Abhi's company...Her Amms had tears in her eyes but she wasn't there to wipe them off...Abhi was grumpy all day on his B'day since he wished to have heart to heart conversation with his darling sister but instead ended up having a conversation which was more like a formality....