The Enigma's Anomaly

Famous Last Words

I don't know how I ended up at the only bar in town, and I certainly don't know how I ended up pickpocketing the cop who sat on the bar stool next to me. I didn't even think before I did it. I don't make it a habit of stealing from cops, because of course, that is the singular stupidest thing you could possibly do, but he was right there, and I saw an opportunity. I mean there was just such a glimmer of realization in my head, and I didn't know what to do with it, so I just did what I had to.

I got in real close to the cop, who's had a few more beers than I had, and I just reached onto the strap around his waist and I grabbed the pair of handcuffs. It wasn't my original intention in coming to this bar. I just wanted to, I don't know, drown my sorrows, but I never got the chance. If you're going to pickpocket a policeman of all people, you really shouldn't stick around to watch him make the realization. Don't pickpocket a cop though, that's stupid, and I am stupid. I only did it because I'm going to be in hell tomorrow anyway, might as well take my chances. If I were to end up in a holding cell then that would have been just as well because I would've been able to stop myself from going after Gerard.

These handcuffs though, I have them. They're real. Actual handcuffs that you use to restrain people. The cop wasn't on duty, and I highly doubt he'd ever used his gun before, because he didn't even have the strap on correctly. It's not my business though. This isn't a big town, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd never used it. He seemed to have a rousing conversation with some of the other people in the bar which only goes to show you just how small this town is. Still, I think it has couple dozen thousand people, so he might just be a regular at that bar. It's strange, seeing as this is New York or maybe it isn't. I've lost track of the number of different places we've been. I'm not sure where we are anymore.

I don't know much about what's going on tomorrow. I know the drop is going to take place on the side of the highway, off a little tangent. From there, I guess they intend to take Gerard and let Mikey go. It's in Banks' best interest to just let Mikey go after he has Gerard. I think Banks knows that I'll do anything to get him back if he were to hurt them both, and my skill in the art of messing with people is not lost on him. He must know that I have allies in this because there's no way I could've snuck into his apartment myself.

I don't know what Banks thinks of me, I highly doubt he knows I'm the Enigma though, because if he did then he'd have told every cop in New York of that. They want me to be in prison, and have for several years. If Banks knew who I was then the leverage would be more so on his end.

So no I have handcuffs and I need to find a way to stop Gerard from going to that meeting tomorrow. It honestly didn't occur to me until I saw that cop sit next to me. The thought didn't even have a semblance of floating into my mind until I saw the shining manacles hanging off his improper belt. I guess it was just a split second realization. I didn't even think about it as I said, so I find myself standing in the humid whether looking at the small circles, which luckily have a key, otherwise it'd be kind of weird.

I don't know what else to do now that I've left the only populated spot in this whole damn town. Or, more accurately, the only populated spot that can be found within a few feet of the hotel. I check my watch and it's only been about an hour but I head back anyway, because I am feeling pretty tired.

The room is dark when I enter it so I'm worried that Gerard might be asleep already, and I don't want to wake him, but I also don't know what to do now. I didn't think any of this through. For the first time though I feel like I might be able to save him.

Yes, I know that whatever I said to him about leaving me, and being angry forever at what he did will be true of him in return, but I'm selfish. I am selfish but at least I accept it. I was selfish, when I killed people so I would have money to pay rent, I was selfish when I let myself date Gerard, and I'm selfish in letting Banks kill me for Mikey and Gerard's life, but now that it's an option, I'll do it. I won't hesitate, because I know that I can't just move on from this point without Gerard. I've dived headfirst into a life that I don't know how to live, and without him I don't think I can live it at all.