When We're Both Thirty

Really Long Chapter Where All That Is Achieved Is Fucking

Then there's footsteps. Gerard knows that this is his last chance to run. He could just run back down the hall and down the steps and forget any of this happened. Forget he came here, forget about all the stuff on his phone that he really wishes he didn't feel so attached to. He wishes he could just be plucked up from the earth and dropped into some parallel dimension where he has absolutely no feelings about Frank whatsoever.

There's rattling at the door, scratching almost, and Gerard looks at the small little peep hole, knowing Frank is probably on the other side wandering why he's here. That's definitely what's running through his mind right now. He's wondering why Gerard is back after running out not long ago. He's thinking that he hates Gerard more than he had twenty four hours ago. Gerard's just feeling antsy and waiting for Frank to hit him with something.

Maybe he won't even answer. Maybe he'll just walk away and leave Gerard there without a response. Or maybe he'll shout at Gerard to go away. He could've already found Gerard's phone and just hand it to him then slam the door shut. Or maybe he's destroyed it to spite Gerard. Maybe he'll do that when Gerard tells him that he lost his phone in there. There's so many different things he might say or do, Gerard can't process them all.

What he doesn't expect is for Frank to open the door and look at him like that.

He's looking at Gerard in a way that can only really be described as thankfully. Gerard feels a lead lining in his lungs, and every other body part he has, making him feel weighted to the ground. Even his tongue is weighted to the bottom of his mouth just by that look in Frank's eyes.

"I was hoping you might come back," Frank says.

"Phone," Gerard says, the word slipping out before he can put other words around it. He sounds stupid, his voice higher than usual. He's successfully acting like a complete fool.

"What?"

"I left my phone. I left my phone here, somewhere. I just came back to get it," Gerard says.

"Oh," Frank says, nodding, his face falling a bit. Gerard pretends it has nothing at all to do with him, and Frank instead happened to start thinking about something sad. The beginning of Up, or maybe Edward Scissorhands. Something like that. He's not sad because Gerard just made a statement that completely blew him off. That's not it at all.

"Can I look for it?" Gerard asks when he's still standing in the hall, and Frank is still looking at him without moving.

"Oh, yeah. Sure," Frank says, stepping back and letting Gerard go in before him. Gerard looks at him, wishes that he could make this less awkward, and then steps in front of Frank and into the apartment. It's the same way that it was when Gerard left it. He's been here way too many times in the past few days. Hell, he's slept here the last two nights. That's way too many times. Never would be too many times in Gerard's book.

"Where did you, uh, last have it?" Frank asks, "Your phone I mean."

"Here, I don't know where though," Gerard says. He was only ever really a few places in here. Frank doesn't live in a mansion or anything, there's not that many places for it to have gone. He keeps everything so clean as well, so it's not lost in any clutter like it constantly is in Gerard's apartment. Often he just goes without it until Mikey calls him and then he's able to locate it more easily by the sound of the ringtone.

Frank closes the door behind Gerard, and he's almost startled by the sound in the eerily quiet apartment. The TV is on, but the sound has been muted, so that's probably what Frank was doing when Gerard knocked.

Gerard goes first to the kitchen counter, feeling Frank's eyes on him, but he refuses to turn around and acknowledge the stare. There's nothing there when Gerard looks around the counters so he walks over to the couch, and he can't avoid it this time. He meets Frank's eyes, and they hold contact for a moment before Frank breaks it. He looks in the direction that Gerard is walking, over by the couch that Gerard and Mikey have both slept on.