Death of a Bachelor- P!ATD au

Crazy=Genius

Chapter 5- Crazy=Genius

I push down the sick feeling in my throat.

Ignoring it like I need to ignore my feelings.

He was never mine.He won't ever be mine.

He doesn't feel the same, I mean nothing to him.

I ran home trying as fast as I could to run away from him. If only I had been more athletic I wouldn't be running so slow. Also this whole thing could've ended differently if I had been friends with him. I wouldn't have been that outsider, the outcast- the one he takes pity on.Best not to pull on that thread though. I run away from the feeling of losing him more and more, when I reached for his hand a day ago now- it felt like miles between us. I was right. Now I need to put miles between us. I need to get away from him.

I collapsed from exhaustion on the street by my house. Panting and panting try to catch my breathe. "Katsuo! Katsuo!" I heard a voice that screamed my name. Iris. She knelt on the ground by me holding my hand and wiping the hot tears stinging my eyes and skin. She slowly picked me up nearly falling as well under my heavy weight and her fragile body. She carried me home while I sobbed and sobbed, it feels like someone serrated my heart. I breathed his name, his face, his body. I only thought of him. Iris carried me home and I watched as my mother frantically put me on the sofa. As she brought me blankets and food- but all I did was cry. It feels like I'm being tortured and tortured over and over again. Unrequited love hurts so much and the twist that had now formed a knot made it hard to forget what happened in the café. He acted as if nothing between us happened.

"Katsuo what's wrong?Who did this to you?" Mum asked with a sad aged face. Her hair grey after the many years of stress due to working as a surgeon. "It's just a boy Mum," I mumbled my throat scratchy and raw. "Katsuo are you sure? Drugs can do this to you, you know and you may not even be sure you took any. Are you sure it's just a boy?" She said worriedly.

"Mum it's not blimmin drugs, can you just leave please." I said angrily dismissing her. Mum looked hurt and walked into the kitchen.

A few hours later I feel slightly better. It's midnight and I'm restless. The birds outside are singing and the cars are racing past my window. I just can't sleep. So I made a decision I knew I would probably regret.

I was right.

I went to Brendon's house.

I arrived a half hour later outside the small house with mansions towering over it. The front garden is clean and neat not like the last time I saw it. Morning dew on the green grass and scarlet flowers growing in hanging baskets outside the jade colour front door. The morning after the party. The morning that caused me to be standing there that night. Air filled my lungs as I took a deep breath. The lights were on in the back garden. I made my way creaking the oak side door opening onto the familiar back garden. The boxing ring stained with blood was now tucked away in the corner under a big oak tree. The shallow pool towards the back filled with clear water and illuminated with lights- and there in the water was the one I was looking for. I watched him in the water gliding gracefully and effortlessly along the water. Like an angel gliding through the clouds. His dark hair waving in the ripples of water round him. He look's so peaceful as if he doesn't know he's a torturer it's not in his eyes.

I approached the pool slowly letting him know I was there. He looked up his angelic features illuminated by the lights in the pool. He shook his wet hair and I gasped at the pure beauty of the scene that was in front of me. "Brendon," I breathed allowing myself the sensation of his name filling my thoughts and senses. "Katsuo, my Cinderella." He said- smiling at my name, I gasped at the sound of it again. "Brendon you can't keep doing this you know," I say desperate for him to be close to me but I remained stood a metre from him at the edge of the pool.

"I can't keep doing what?" He said genuinely surprised I said anything.

"You can't keep acting like you like me one second and calling me your cinderella and the next running away after one kiss- then kissing your girlfriend again." I said choking on my words as they fell quickly out of my mouth. He gave me a look of sadness and sympathy- I watched as he prepared for to say something but the words never left his pinkish lips. He beckoned me to him. I completely under his spell- follow what he said. I took of my beanie then my blue checked shirt then my black ripped jeans. So there I am in Brendon Urie's garden back in my underwear but this time I had everything to lose. It wasn't just a stupid party now.

I slid into the pool and he pulled me close holding my hands and pulling me further into the warm water. I felt on fire with his touch. I must be crazy to still follow him like this. Finally he spoke "Katsuo, my head's a mess and I'm so confused Katsuo. I love Sarah." I hold my breathe at this her name it breaks my heart, "But I also have feelings for you, I think it's pretty obvious I do. Please just give me time I need to figure this out." He carried on as I slowly regained my breath."So I'm supposed to just wait for you to either run off and be a straight jock or run over to some sad little lonely gay boy." I said sadly- taking my hands out of his.

"Don't ever say that you're not some lonely little gay boy, you're so much more than that and if people don't see that they don't deserve you. I see so much more to you than that and I know some other guy will.I may be the first boy who loves you but I know I won't be the last- but I don't love you the way you want me to." He said in an unreadable voice while tracing the bruises and my split lip. I shiver under his touch. "You-you love me?" I said cautiously trying to hide my emotions. "Yes you're Cinderella and Prince Charming always loves Cinderella just maybe our story is not so conventional," he said trying to get me to laugh but I won't. "Brendon I can't do this." My teeth chatter as I climb out of the pool and pull on my clothes. I walked out the garden with my shoes this time. I'm not his Cinderella and he is not my Prince Charming. Like the story it was all just a fairy tale and fairy tales always end. I thought to myself as I left and walked along the quiet roads back to my house. My footsteps scratching on the gravel beneath my shoes, breaking small branches on the floor hearing them crack as my foot crushed them.

And my heart shattering every step I took away from him.

~Alex

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