Death of a Bachelor- P!ATD au

Death of a Bachelor

Chapter 5- Death of a Bachelor

The dining hall was bursting at the seams with students, all laughing, talking, eating, having a good time- even though most of them didn't deserve it. My bruises were prominent against my skin, the cut on my temple was slowly healing naturally, but nobody asked if I was okay. Nobody cared, not even the staff. They just wanted to go home and continue their lonely little lives, watching 'Say Yes to the Dress' curled up on the couch with their cats, or dogs- I'm not petist.

Instead of trying to find an empty seat in the hall, I decided to eat outside, in the spot Iris and I normally sat in during the summer, only it was mid-autumn and the ground littered with dead foliage was wet, but I didn't mind. I sat on the ground and took the pack of potato chips out my bag, but I couldn't eat them, I had no appetite. My stomach was twisting itself into a knot that wouldn't be easily undone, and my brain was shutting down.

'Are you okay? I noticed earlier you have a black eye? You don't look the same, have you lost weight? I'm just... worried about you. Text back asap  ~ iris'

I turned my phone off. She knew I wasn't okay, so why did she bother asking? I had two more lessons, but decided not to go. What was the point? I barely learnt anything, and it was just another opportunity for the boxers to use me as a punching bag- no way was I voluntarily signing up for that.

A long two hours later, the bells inside the school rang distantly- breaking my train of thoughts. My mind was filled with Brendon, where was he when I needed him? He could have helped, he could have saved me... but he didn't. He probably had more important things to do, like hook up with a cheerleader in the supply cupboard. It was always the same girl, I heard her name was Sarah, they seemed to be going strong- the school's power couple. Every time I saw them, all I could think about was how I wished I was her, I was jealous.

The road I still wasn't used to walking was long, it winded through the shops before opening out to the countryside, it was the only road to enter the town and exit so it was always busy, unfortunately. I was housed in a small cluster of houses, almost at the end of the road before it joined the highway, but that was okay. The only people who lived there were retired and on the verge of death, or too poor to afford the houses nearer the schools and work places. About fifteen steps into the journey, raindrops began to fall from the sky, mixing on my cheeks with the already existing, scorching hot, tears. Nobody would be able to see I had been crying. Above me, clouds were moving faster than I was walking, they swirled around each other, as if playing charades as they changed shape every few minutes.

I saw Iris closing the door to her house, she didn't give me a second glance, probably didn't want to risk getting her smart but slightly sexual lace dress wet. the thought of it seemed to choke me. Her fashion sense got her friends, a popularity status- mine brought punches and broken ribs.

After walking through town, the rain was falling harder and thunder was bouncing off the buildings, rebounding into the sky to be met by bright, blinding flashes of lightning. Wind howled as it got caught on trees, bushes and cables held up by wooden poles, the force slowed my pace, it was almost impossible to walk through, so I took shelter in the café, the last one before the road became desolate for a mile or two.

"Hey, sweetcheeks. What can I rustle up for ya?" A girl with a Texan accent asked, chewing on gum while removing her notepad from the front pocket of her apron.

"Just a latte please." I said quietly, her make-up caked face had an unimpressed expression as she passed the order over the counter to a barista. I looked around, looing for a place to sit and noticed an empty table for two in the back corner, away from the window. Perfect. I took a seat and watched as the few people around me sipped on their drinks, bit into the cakes and sandwiches. I stuck out from these people as the kid with bruises, the kid drenched in rain water, the kid who sat alone at a table for two. How desperately lonely. As time passed, I noticed how the barista was using slow, careful movements around the machinery. All I wanted was to be served and drown my aching heart and emotions with caffeine.

The bell above the door dinged as a small group of three entered, only they were all from my school. And one of them was Brendon. As the two friends (Ryan and Dallon I think) he was accompanied with placed their orders, Brendon peered around the room before noticing me in the corner, smiling gratefully at the barista who brought my drink to my table and apologised for the long wait.

Why was Brendon here? What is he doing now?

I gulped down half the latte, shivering as the boiling hot drink seemed to melt the cold embedded in my throat and stomach. Brendon began to walk over to me, a stupid smile on his perfect lips. I felt the blood rush out of my face and I felt cold again. I dipped my head, staring into the mix of frothy milk and watered down coffee. I felt his forefinger and thumb on my chin, lifting my face to look him in the eyes.

"Hey Cindy." He smiled, speaking softly as he took in my battered appearance.

"What do you want?" I asked, pushing his hand away from my face.

"Just... wanted to remind you I'm always here for you." I scoffed. "And I just want you, for me, to smile, even when you're sad."

I stood quickly, my heavy chair scraping horribly loudly against the concrete floor. Wordlessly, I grabbed my bag and shouldered it as I stormed out, making sure to slam the door so hard it broke the bell in the process. My life was officially falling apart, my heart was fucked and my lungs seemed to momentarily forget how to function. What was this boy, this apparently straight boy, doing to me?

"Hey! I'll give you a lift home." A car pulled up beside me and I immediately spotted Brendon sat in the drivers' seat, leaning across to open the passenger seat door for me.

"I may be lonely right now, but I sure as hell don't need you." I spat.

Before he could respond, I slid my bag down my shoulder as I began to sprint, tears running down my face as I did, my satchel was held tightly in my hand as I ran, I didn't stop running until I reached my street where I collapsed on my neighbour's garden, I couldn't breathe, my heart was beating unhealthily fast and I could feel last night's dinner and the coffee mixed with stomach acid rising in my throat, but all I could focus on was my thoughts.

I lied to him.

I needed- no, I still do- need him.

And I was pushing him away.

~Kai

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