There's No Accounting For Love

Chapter Fifteen

It was now early April, but the weather had changed. It rained and rained and there was no let up. No one dared to venture out without an umbrella. Wet coats and umbrellas lay everywhere in the office causing a damp, depressing atmosphere.

There was no sign of a baby and Clare was disappointed. Hal told her not to worry, after all these things took time. "But I don't want it to take time," said Clare "I want it to happen now!" She tried to put wanting a baby to the back of her mind, but it was difficult. Then it happened. She visited the doctor and within a few days she knew she was pregnant. It was mind blowing! It would change their lives forever. It was exciting and scary and wonderful, all at the same time.

When she told Hal, he was so pleased he threw the cushions in the air and twirled her round the lounge. "Oh, Clare, that's such wonderful news. I've always wanted to be a father!" he said, his eyes dancing with joy.

"I wonder if it will be a boy or a girl? Which would you prefer?" asked Clare.

"Clare, any baby you produce will be good enough for me," said Hal and he kissed her passionately. "I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too!" said Clare.

They spent a happy evening talking about the future and all the joy their baby would bring.

Hal was a handful, not just because of the 'practising', but he was absent minded and at times it was hard work. Clare desperately wanted children, but what would they be like? Lots of little Hals running around in suits and trainers, or odd socks, it didn't bear thinking about. They would constantly be asking "Mum, where did you put my baseball cap?" or something. The very thought made her laugh and, of course, they would all have holes in their socks and be colour blind, just like him.

Nevertheless, Clare was happy and Hal was happy too. Hal said she looked different, she seemed to glow and she said it was a silly thing to say women only glowed when they were heavily pregnant. Or did they? She didn't really know, but what she did know was they'd never been happier. Hal was so pleased he often left the house singing. He couldn't sing in tune, but what did that matter? They felt like kites, soaring higher and higher on a wind of elation.

"I've got some news, Angie." said Clare one morning as they walked into their office together.

"You've won the lottery?" asked Angie, who always had a comment ready up her sleeve.

"Yes, sort of. I'm expecting a baby!"

"AAAgh" screamed Angie and she grabbed Clare and they did a jumping up and down on the spot routine. Alan walked in and saw them. "What's all this about?" he asked.

"Clare's expecting a baby!" shouted Angie "Isn't that wonderful news?"

"Yes, wonderful. Congratulations." Alan smiled and came close enough to give Clare a peck on the cheek, but was unable to hide the sad look in his eyes.

The rest of the day was spent discussing baby names, some of which were ludicrous and they laughed until they cried. "Quick," Justin said popping his head around the door "Bob's coming." Justin disappeared back into the photocopy room. They became quiet immediately, 'Alanesque' as Angie always called it and pretended to work.

It wasn't to be, however. Clare was at work several weeks later when she started to get the most awful stomach cramps. Then she noticed she was bleeding. Angie went with her to Casualty; Geoff, who was a married man and very understanding, gave them a lift. They didn't have to wait long. When Clare was examined by a young male doctor he told her he was sorry, but she'd lost the baby. It was a common occurrence in a first pregnancy, he said. He told her to take a week off work and that was that.

Clare cried and Hal shed a tear, when he found out. He came to the hospital from the University to fetch her and Angie, and take them both home. It was more than disappointing, but Hal said "I'm sure you will have children one day Clare, I'm quite sure of that." But it was small comfort. Their baby had gone and wasn't coming back. They were deflated and it was several weeks before they came to terms with the loss.