The Wrong direction (one direction Fan Fic)

chapter 20

    I was brought back into my hell as I felt a pair of lips attach onto mine.  They were rough and I tried to pull away.  I tried to make them stop.  My heart was racing out of my chest.  God, someone help me. 

     It continued for what seemed like hours.  Finally, when he pulled away, I tried to breathe but something else was being shoved into my face.   His "Thing" was being forced at me demanding me to open. 

     I had never fought so hard in my life.  I punched the man holding me down, and screamed, but the only thing that I ended up with was a bruised rib, and a busted lip. 

     I finally opened my mouth.  I had never felt so awful in my entire life.  I had never felt so disgusting.  I had never wanted to purge as much as I did in that moment of horror.  I just sat on my knees while he was standing in-front of me making sounds I never wanted to hear in my entire life.  They were gross.  They made my stomach hurt.

Louis couldn't continue reading.  He was sobbing uncontrollably and his breathing was rough.  How had this happened to Harry? Why hadn't harry told him? Louis felt hurt, but yet understanding.  If this would have happened to him, he wouldn't have told anyone else either.  He finally understood why Harry was doing the things he was doing.  If that had happened to Louis, how would he have He had coped?

     I was sure that they were done with me.  I had ended up pleasuring three of them, and emptying the contents of my stomach twice.  They weren't done, though.

     After I had thrown up for the third time, one of the men grabbed me by the hair and threw me on the ground, the other three proceeding to hold me to the ground.  He started with the buckle of my trousers while I squirmed and screamed trying to make him stop. 

     I don't 'even know how to describe what happened next.  I just want to forget.  Forget, forget, forget just forget!  Forget the men, forget the touches, forget the feeling for worthlessness and pain. 

     The way they ran their greasy hands through my hair and whispered how beautiful and perfect my body was.  The way the said to be quite, and the ways they tried to justify their deeds.  The way they hurt me.............

     I was cold, naked, naked, and exposed when they finally left.  They left laughing and saying how I shouldn't have ever trusted their false story. 

     I will never trust again.  I can't trust again.  I will never love again.  I will never feel again.  I will never be me again.  How can I be normal after everything that happened to me?  How can I be fixed. 

     I don't remember what happened after they left.  I just layed there, too bloody and hurt to do anything.  Too much in pain to move.  I don't remember how I got back to my hotel room, or when.  The men drugged me before they left.  They tried to make me forget.  I will never forget.  I can't forget. 

      The only thing that I remember was lying on the ground, laying in the ally way as I saw a small, white piece of paper float past.  I remember grabbing it, now I am not really sure why, but I did grab it.  It had been the paper I had written the note to that man's "Daughter" Ellie.  There had been not really been any daughter.   It was just something to get me into their trap.

I read the words.  They sounded so foreign, so strange.  Just as I had felt. 

     I am still broken.  I can not fix myself.  I can not changed what happened to me.  I can not fix myself, or stop my tears.  Is it wrong to say that I wish I had died that night?  I wish I was dead.......

Louis stopped reading.  He couldn't continue.  He grabbed the book and threw it across the room.  He wanted to love Harry.  He wanted to hold him and tell him that everything would be alright.  It wouldn't.  Harry was dead.  Harry was never coming back.  It was all those men's fault.  They had broken, killed Harry, and if Louis ever got his hands on them, they would not get out alive.

Louis feel asleep that night on Harry's bed.  He hugged his pillows and took in his scent.  He dreamed of his best friend.

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And that was the end of chapter 20.  Tell me how you feel about it. 

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