Hey Idiot... I Love You

Chapter Two

CHAPTER TWO

When I enter my apartment, I immediately spot a familiar head of dark brown curls on resting on top the couch.

“Oh. Hi,” I say quietly, closing the door behind me.

The head turns and Emily smiles before grabbing the remote and muting the TV. “Oh... So you’re back,” she says and pauses before asking, “Still don’t remember anything?”

Emily’s lives with me in my apartment. Well, sort of. At least, that’s what mom had told me weeks before. “This apartment is where you had lived for the past few years,” mom had told me while she was writing down the address. “You told us you live with your best friend, Emily.”

Now I feel like a jerk. How could I not remember my own best friend?

After I had woken up in the hospital, I was utterly confused. The last thing I remember was getting ready for my dinner date with Daniel, my boyfriend at that time. I remember I had even told mom, “Why am I at the hospital? I need to dress up for my date!”

Mom told me we had already broken up. I cried, Of course. I liked Daniel. A lot. I thought we were going to last longer.

It clicked. I don’t remember the whole past four years of my life. I tried to be rational about it. After what seemed like a hundred tests and CT scans, and the doctors informed me that my amnesia is the effect of my brain injury from my car accident.

Heck, I didn’t even remember that I had a car accident.

They told me the injury is just small, and it’s supposed to be temporary. But in case I still don’t recover my memories by the end of the year, then there’s a very large chance that it’s permanent.

And so far, I haven’t remembered a single memory yet. Sure, everything feels familiar in my eyes, but I don’t exactly remember being in this apartment or having a best friend named Emily.

Having amnesia is horrible. It’s as if there’s a gap in my life. One minute eighteen year-old me is still in collage dating Daniel, and the other I wake up in the hospital as a twenty-two year college-graduate old with amnesia. I have no recollection of what I even had studied in collage, which is now a complete waste.

I don’t know how to act when I’m with Emily. I know she still thinks I’m the same Haley she met four years ago and we’re still as close as best friends, but in my head she’s merely a friend. And whenever I’m with her, it’s... well it’s awkward.

I shrug, avoiding her eyes. “No. I still don’t remember anything.”

Cue the awkward silence. I walk towards her and she faces the TV again.

“Um... What do you want to do? Bake cookies or what?” she asks and unmutes the TV, the background sound filling up the silence.

“Did I like cookies?”

“Yes... I think.” She smiles, as if remembering a memory. “Once, you tried adding mints in the batter and baked it. You told me it tasted awesome.”

Doesn’t ring a bell at all.

“Oh” is all I can think of to say. I try to imagine eating minty cookies and almost grimace. How could I think that mint cookies are awesome?

How much have I really changed?

* * *

Later the afternoon, we got tired of baking and decided to watch a movie. It’s quiet again, and I’m sitting on the couch while Emily’s on the far end. The doorbell rings, breaking the awkward silence.