My Therapy Sessions (Wattys2016)

Chapter Nine

"Come on, Keira, wake up!" I heard my sister screech as I opened my eyes, my vision adjusting to burning light hanging on top of me. I slowly sat up. "Finally," Demetria groaned. "Get ready, or I'll leave without you." I looked around, my wrenchingly painful fatigue almost completely gone but I didn't feel refreshed at all.
"The many perks of being a depressed teenager; always feeling tired." I sighed. "Well, at least now it's tolerable." I quickly washed up and put on my uniform, finishing in less than ten minutes.
"Finally, you're done." Demetria groaned, not bothering to look up from her phone. "Come on, let's go." She stood up, I searched around.
"Where's mom?" I asked.
"She took you-know-who to school early so I'm driving us to school."
"Oh."

"Can you stop looking so miserable all the damn time?!" Dem said all the sudden taking me by surprise since all I was doing till then was staring out through the window blankly.
"Excuse me?" I turned my confused gaze towards her.
"You act like this all the time, it's seriously annoying and it's bothering all of us."
"What are you talking about?" I asked, knowing full well what she's talking about.
"Don't play dumb, idiot. You know exactly what I'm talking about." My expression turned serious.
"Stop it." I warned, gritting my teeth.
"No, you don't get to tell me what to do. All you do all day is act like there's something wrong with you just because you want attention. There's nothing wrong with you, Keira, and you know it." She momentarily looked away from the road to turn her icy glare at me. "You're only problem is that you only care about yourself and for that you make all our lives terrible!" For that, I snapped.
"Stop the car." I ordered.
"What?"
"Stop the stupid car right now or I'm jumping out!" I threatened.
"Just shut up, Keira, I'm tired of your bullshit." She groaned. She had the nerve to groan after what she said to me.
"You're such a hypocrite, you know?" I laughed drily. "You accuse me of only caring about myself when you're the one who's blaming me for your stupid petty problems."
"SHUT UP!" She yelled, startling me. "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU RUIN EVERYTHING." I stared at her, jaw flexing. "Jessica was right to beat you up, you are a freak." With that I actually lived up to my threat and jumped out the car, luckily for whatever she's worth Dem is a safe driver and stopped the car as soon as I opened the door. "Keira, stop being a brat and get in the car." She ordered, I ignored her and walked away, really not having enough energy to deal with her.
What petty problems were you talking about?
She got in a fight with mom the day before for who-knows-what and like always she vents her anger out on me.
Why do you think she does that?
Because I'm an easy target. (I sigh, running a hand through my hair.)
Care to elaborate?
My mother would just turn a blind eye and my father isn't there to do anything about it, so she can easily project all her problems and insecurities on me and actually blame me for all them.
But why? What does she stand to gain?
You mean besides hurting any chance of me actually liking my family? She gets to live her normal life without the burden of dealing with her own problems.
So it's a coping mechanism?
Yep.
That's just horrible.
Yeah, I kept asking myself why she did it growing up, I mean after I figured out that none of it was actually my fault, like what did I ever do to hurt her.
My guess is she doesn't know that she's doing it. Like you said, she "projects" it onto you. Well, despite the impressively lack of profanity, you were exactly right about the term; projecting. People do it subconsciously, a way to deal with pain and any other life obstacle with the most objective way possible.
But in reality it's nothing but a ticket to the road to hell I've grown so fond of.
Unfortunately. Although, it's not as serious as what's debilitating you, she needs to deal with her problems or else she hinders any chance of ever actually finding herself.
You sound like a guru now.
You seem to be well-aware of your sister's "issues", why haven't you ever tried to help her?
I can't even help myself, so do you really think I'm capable of helping some else? Besides the first step of dealing with a problem, is admitting you have one. Demetria would never do that, she's convinced the only problem in her life is me.
So you've tried?
What?
Well, seeing from how informed you are of Dem's problem, you actually tried to help or at least thought about it.
You give me too much credit.
And you give yourself none, Keira.