Test Subject

Don't Even Know Myself

"Maybe this can explain why you complain and slack too much."

That is not true. Not knowing my age has nothing to do with me not doing everything right. He pushes me too much that it makes me want to pass out. The worst part is that he pushes me more when I slack even for a little bit. I have reached my limit today. Maybe if he gives me a couple of minutes I would be fine. No, instead we jump into the next exercise after another. The only real break is when we walk to equipment or tells me what to do. Age has nothing to do with it. I want to scream this at his face, but being too scared and dizzy, I remain silent.

"So weak." He motions the two guards at the door. "Take her to Dr. Adams. She is shaking and wobbling from side to side. Get her out of my sight. Such a dissapointment."

The two guards chain me up and lead me to Dr. Adams room. It feels so good to leave the commander.

When we get there the guards unchain me. They leave. Dr. Adams pats the exam table for me to sit. "Vienna, you were here just last week. What is wrong now?"

Being here again does make me feel weak. This is something I don't like. "The commander pushed me so much without giving me breaks that my chest started to feel compressed or like it was about to explode."

"Is that all?"

"No, I started getting dizzy and my vision started to blur. My hands and legs were shaking. They still kind of are. Plus I feel nauseous."

Dr. Adams stands making his way to a drawer. He pulls out a stethoscope. He listens to my heart for a while and shifts places. "You're heart is beating really fast."

Pulling the stethoscope off, he grabs my arms and extends them out in front of me. "May you please leave your arms like this for a few seconds?"

He stares at my arms as they are indeed still shaking. From my point of view this looks funny. It's like I'm a zombie.

"You may put your arms down now."
He puts the stethoscope away. "When ever you feel this way, it is best to stop and rest. A way to help get rid of that pressure on your chest is to stand up, and bend over a little with your hands above your knee. Try it."

I slide off the exam table and do as he says. "Like this?"

"Not on your knees. Bring your hands a little more higher. Right above your knees."

I move my hands a little higher. Sure enough the pressure on my chest goes away. "Wow, this does help!"

Dr. Adams laughs "What? You think you don't know what I'm doing? There's a reason I'm a doctor."

"I didn't mean that."

"I know you didn't. Lighten up. If you want I can talk to the commander about this."

I slowly stand up. Dr. Adams never used to talk to me like this. Recently, he has made conversations with me even if it has to do with science or about my health. He even gave me a banana a few months ago. "Dr. Adams-" I pause.

He seems concerned now. "What is it?"

"Why are being nice to me?"

"Excuse me?"

Should I have asked this? Is this going to make him like before? No talking just sedating. I already asked though. "You've been nice to me recently. You've never made conversations with me a couple months ago."

He doesn't break eye contact with me as he says nothing for a few seconds. "Vienna, I'm doing this for your health. A doctor has to do their job. Talking is better than silence right? I've known you for a long time now. Can I not talk to you about your health with you? Don't worry. I'll talk to the commander about this." Ending the conversation, he calls for a guard.