Bettering my life: 101

just the start

I don't even know where to start. right now I'm thinking about how to gain weight. your probably thinking "gaining weight"? why? I'll tell you why. ever since I was 12 in the 5th grade I thought of myself as fat. I wanted to loose weight so bad. I was only 115 pounds. I'm no trying to offend anyone that is more than that or is that weight. i was young and focused on what other people thought. the real reason I wanted to loose weight was really stupid.

I hate the fact they I even thought I was fat. I wasn't fat. I'm not fat. in 6th grade I was still chubby and trying to love it. I was trying to love myself for the size that I am. I still had those day dreams of me walking into school being skinny and pretty. everyone looking at me like "woah you lost so much weight". 7th grade comes by and that's when I started loosing a lot of weight out of no where.

I was loosing so much weight that I barley had any pants to fit me. i didn't starve myself. I didn't make my self throw up. I wasn't doing anything but trying to eat. I went from a size 15 in kids to a size 0 in juniors. I don't know if it's bad or good but it was puberty. I didn't do anything to loose all that weight. I do have a shape to me though. I have an house glass shape.

what I really wanna do is focus on learning another language. focus on reading more on watt pad. I wanna focus more on playing the ukulele. I'll get more into me playing instruments a little later on. I also want to focus on being healthy mentally,emotionally,and physically.

I wanna try to gain weight the healthy way. I have been trying my best to eat more and gain but I feel like I need to try harder. I want to gain weight the safe way. It would be nice to go back to stretching again trying to become more flexible but now start lifting weights.

Oh I forgot to tell you my age,height,and weight. I'm 15 years old. I'm 5'0,I know Ima shorty. I'm also 90 pounds from what the scale said last time. my goal is at least 100 pounds. not just working out but eating three meals a day like I'm suppose to. now I only eat lunch and dinner. speaking of dinner I'm about to have Chinese dinner.

in this chapter I just want you to get to know me a little. later on I will tell you about my ninth grade year. how it went for me. what I had to deal with. how I had to deal with my anxiety too.

I'm Breanna and this is a journal about my journey.

-anxiety
-friends
-feeling alone
-getting use to be alone (how I try to be happy)
-not caring what people think
-not having a boyfriend
-trying to find a hobby