Hooked

Online

Josh's POV

I was sitting by a little tree at a park near my house. I came here a couple times a week to do homework and more importantly to get a break. Inbetween the horror of school and terror at home this was the one place I could find some peace. Other than online, of course. I guess most people don't think my life is too horrible but I just don't seem to be happy. I love the idea of school- learning, meeting people, having smart teachers explain to you- but reality is nothing like that. My parents boxed me into this fucked Catholic education, I don't have anything against Catholics I just don't exactly believe in all that. We have to wear these dumb uniforms. Black pants, black shoes, white button-up, and a black sweater. Girls can either wear skirts or pants. I of course wear the pants, in my opinion the more comfortable option. Everyone says we look adorable, I say they're fucked up. And get this: each day we go to religion class with this nun that comes in and tells us how terrible our generation is. "Those queers are going to hell" "Non-Catholics will soon learn their lesson," you know the usual. Sure, it's hard to listen to all that but over the years I've learned to completely make my mind float away to my perfect, imaginary world. And that's just school! At home it only gets worse. My parents lately have been telling me that I'm a "gift sent from God" and that's only because my older sister recently got married to a woman. When I was 12 she told me she liked girls, at the time I knew what gay meant but not to the point to understand fully what she meant. She had a boyfriend then I didn't get how you could be gay and also straight but now I understand. Anyways, ever since her wedding my mom and my stepdad, Chris, haven't spoke to her. They make sure to remind me everyday that if I want to be gay I might as well just jump into the flames of hell. Oh man, I can already imagine what will happen when I tell them I'm transgender and pansexual. I can already hear all their dumb invalid arguments, great.

My phone began to buzz Bulletproof Love by Pierce the Veil, snapping me out of my thoughts. I knew already that it was my little Alan. We met four years ago on Instagram. He commented on my picture and I Dmed to ask how he found me.
"I saw a pretty girl and somehow built up the courage to comment." That was back before I knew being transgender was a thing. My sister, Ri or Rhiana, told me about it not long ago. I felt like it was a perfect term for me, Ri and Alan were the first people to know. It sounds stupid that I was already 13 when I learned these terms, I only knew the basic 'gay' and that was it. Better late than never. I'm 17 now and so is Alan, hopefully we'll meet soon I never felt so happy around anyone before. It may be four years since we met but somehow he still works on me.

Before my phone stopped ringing I picked up.
"Hey Al, what's good?" It was 3:15pm he always calls me at this time.
"Nothing much, just taking pudge out for a walk." That would be his ol' pug, "I'm so glad I'm talking to you now."
"Me too, I missed your voice since this morning. Have you realized that we call more than most people, but then again if I could see my best friend all day every day I wouldn't have to call."

And so we spoke before we had to hang up. He told me about his day and I listened carefully. Some dumb girl he dated before realizing he was gay tried to attack him. By attack he most likely meant say a word or two to him, he likes to over-exaggerate he tells me it's what actors do. That's been his passion for as long as I've knows him- acting, and he is fantastic at it! I told him about my day and he listened and shared his opinion. We laughed about what my friend Deborah said to the nun during religion. We laughed about his pug tripping over his own feet. Each day we found something new to talk about. It was a never ending circle of joy.