nineteen.

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It was silent.

Not that Jungkook expected any different, if it weren't the sound of things being thrown and his mother's raised voice, silence was the only other things his ears were succumbed to in his house.

His birthday was yesterday, of course he was the only one who remembered. Sixteen didn't feel any different than fifteen, the same heavy heart he had carrying on to his next year. He caught his reflection in the mirror that was smashed in the corner of the room, noticing the dried blood around the gash that his mother's push into said mirror caused.

His bones stuck out, colourful bruises adorning the skin covering them.

But he understood. His mom was hurting, her eldest son was dead and her husband left because of it. Jungkook was just her means of getting frustration out. He still loved her, she was his only parent now after all.

"Jungkook?" He nearly flinched at his mother's voice, turning around on the couch he sat on and plastering a smile onto his face.

"Yes mom?" He asked, fairly uneasy about how calm she was acting. It wasn't like her.

"Today's a special day sweetie." She cooed, Jungkook's eyes warily focused on the hand behind her back. "Oh I've wanted to do this for such a long time."

Jungkook's eyes widened as she brought her hand out from behind her back, a knife held within it that glistened in the light shining through the window.

"M-Mom? What are you doing?" He slowly got up from the couch, eyes widened and body trembling in fear.

His mom wouldn't really kill him would she?

"Both of us a favour." Jungkook wasn't quick enough to move away before she lunged at him, his strangled cry ripping through the silence as the blade sliced through the flesh above his collarbone. "Don't fight it Kookie, let mom have her way."

She shoved him against the wall behind them, a near psychotic smile on her face as she watched her son nearly crumple onto the floor, clutching onto the wall to keep his balance.

"Mom p-please.. Don't do this. I-I love you." Jungkook stuttered out, breathing quickening as his mom approached him quickly.

His mom raised her arm, targeting Jungkook's neck as she was about to slash at her son. And she would have, had Jungkook not caught her wrist as a reflex.

"Jungkook." Her voice was a near growl, Jungkook's lip quivering in fear. "Let your mom go."

"No!" He wasn't sure where his confidence came from, probably his mind doing all it could to keep him alive. "I don't want to die!"

"You should!" His mom yelled, Jungkook's feeling his eyes water as his grip on his mother tightened.

"I don't!" He yelled back, time seeming to slow down at his next actions. He twisted her wrist, therefore turning the blade as well, before pushing her forearm back harshly.

It wasn't until she crumpled to the floor that he realized what he had done.

The knife stuck out of her chest, her eyes widened as she gasped for breath. "M-Mom?"

He immediately crouched down next to her, holding her face and looking into her clouded eyes. "N-No! Mom I didn't mean to! Please don't die, y-you're all I have!"

A small smile rested on his mom's face before she coughed, blood coating her lips.

"Maybe you were destined to be alone." Jungkook's heart shattered at her words, pulling the knife out of her chest before hugging her close to him.

"I don't want to be alone!" He sobbed, burying his head in the crook of her neck as he listened to her breathing slow. "Don't leave me!"

"Maybe one day I'll be proud of you Jungkook... But that day isn't t-today."

Jungkook sat up abruptly in bed, breathing harsh and sweat shining against his body.

He hadn't dreamed about that in awhile, just now realizing that tears were falling down his face as a result of it. His past haunted him, his mom's last words ringing in his ears and causing him to choke out a sob that he quickly silenced as he didn't want to wake Jimin wake up, who slept beside him.

The spirit stirred nonetheless.

"Jungkook? You're awake?" Jimin woke his eyes before getting a closer look at the younger, eyes widening when he did. "Wait, what's wrong?"

He slid closer to the male, holding one of his hands as he looked at him expectantly.

"I should have let her kill me
Jimin-Hyung." Jungkook croaked, "What kind of person kills their own mom? If I had died then and there you'd still be alive. A lot of people would still be alive."

Jimin frowned, quickly deducing that Jungkook had dreamed of the night he killed his mother.

"Jungkook, you fought to live. You were meant to be alive. Sure, you took a path that probably wasn't the best, but you were meant to be here nonetheless. I'm sorry that you had to go through that and I wish that I could give you at better life. Nobody deserves to have gone through what you did." Jimin sighed.

"I was alone for a long time Jimin." Jungkook sniffled, "I hate being alone. It scares me."

Jimin wrapped his arms around Jungkook's torso, burying his head into his shoulder.

"I'm here Jungkook." He mumbled, the younger nodding and resting his head on top of the spirit's.

"But you're going to leave one day, and then I'll be by myself again." Jungkook whispered, closing his eyes and not being able to stop a frown from appearing on his face. The two were silent for awhile after that, the sound of Jungkook's clock ticking being the only noise that graced their ears.

"I'm sorry." Jimin finally answered, breaking the silence and pulling Jungkook even closer to him. He didn't want Jungkook to be alone. The boy had been through so much and he deserved to have someone by his side, sadly Jimin knew that most likely couldn't be the case.

"Don't be."

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