Silence and Sadness

Love

{Gerard's POV}
I was sitting on my bed, thinking about everything that Frank had said to me. 'I don't care if you don't talk...I just want to be your friend...I don't care if you have panic attacks...I think Gerard Way is pretty freakin awesome!' I couldn't believe he'd said those things. Not a lot of people had ever talked to him like that- Mikey mostly, whenever I was depressed or something. Frank's words floated around every inch of my mind. For some reason, I smiled whenever I thought of them. I was thinking about them as I lay there, sketching some random picture. "What are you so happy about?" Someone said from my doorway. I looked up and saw Mikey standing there, watching me with a curious look in his eyes. "Whatever happened to knocking, Michael. I could have been getting dressed." (Funny story. Something like this happened with me and my youngest brother this morning. Problem was I actually was getting dressed! 😑). Mikey stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, smiling and shaking his head as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Since when do you care? Now, what's got you smiling so much?" he asked again. I sighed and said, "Nothing really. Frank said some things earlier that...that really made me feel...happy, I guess." He was toying with a loose thread on my blanket. "Yeah, he's pretty cool. What did he say?" Mikey wondered. "Well...he told me he wanted to hang out with me. I was writing on a piece of paper. I...got upset and asked why he wanted to hang with me. I pretty much yelled at him. I told him I don't talk, that I'm just the freak who panics when he meets new people. And it looked like that made him upset. He said...um, let me see...it was something like, 'I don't care if you don't talk. I just want to be your friend. I don't care if you have panic attacks. That's what makes you Gerard Way, I think Gerard Way is pretty freakin awesome'. He's really nice, Mikey." I said. I felt the smile disappear from my face. "Ok. Well, what's wrong? Now that you've said it all out loud, you look kind of mad." He said.
I shook my head, trying to dismiss the feeling. It couldn't be like that, right. I mean, I knew I was gay, and I wasn't ashamed of it, but...Frank? My first impression was basically me panicking like a child. Besides, nobody would ever like me. I was a freak, a mute, an emo. I've been called many things. Why would anybody love me? But then I pictured Frank's face in my mind. His soft lips, smooth skin, curved-but-slightly-pointed jawline. His beautiful, soft dark brown hair. I was snapped out of my daze by Mikey waving a hand in front of my face. "You with me? I asked what was wrong." He repeated. "I...I think I like Frank, Mikes. Like, in that way. I don't even know if he likes me like a friend. What if he was just lying about wanting to be my friend? What if he's not gay? What am I gonna-" I stopped, my chest starting to feel heavy and my heartbeat starting to race. "Hey, hey. Calm down, count to ten if you have to. Calm down, Gee." He said. I slowly and shakily counted to ten until my breathing slowed and I stopped shaking so much, though I still had a slight tremble going. "Now, listen. First of all, I'm sure Frank wasn't lying to you about wanting to be your friend. Secondly, I can tell you that he is gay. He told us earlier before he came to talk to you, while we were playing games. He actually asked me if you were gay. I told him that you were. And then he said that that was cool, and that he was gay, too." Mikey explained.
I looked up into his light brown eyes and smiled. "I ever tell you you're the best brother ever, Mikey?" I asked. He laughed and said, "I'm sure you have, but you could say it again." I sat up and pressed a small kiss to my little brother's forehead, then looked back down into his eyes. "You, Michael Way, are the best little brother in the world." I said. Mikey threw his arms around me and squeezed me tight, burying his head in my shoulder. "You are, too, Gerard. Love you." He said. I gently rubbed my hand around on his back. "Love you, too, Mikes. Now, go get into bed. I'm tired, and we have school in the morning." I reminded him, shoving him gently towards the door. He childishly stuck his tongue out at me, but rolled his eyes and left the room, closing the door behind him. I sighed when the door closed, leaving me in the silence. It always seemed to be that way- me and silence, always together at some point in the day. Usually at the end of the day. I tossed my sketch pad and pencil onto the floor beside my bedside table and grabbed my cell phone, earbuds a black, tangly mess beside it, but plugged into the phone still. I placed the buds in my ear and turned on "Dig Up Her Bones" by the Misfits, then leaned into my pillows and stared at the blank, black ceiling. My thought turned back to Frank. Hearing his sweet voice say those words to me in my mind made me smile. God, I had just met him today and he already had me smiling like an idiot at the thought of him. Of course, maybe that's what love felt like. Wait, did I just say...love. Was I in love with Frank?

A/N: Happy International My Chemical Romance Day, my fellow MCRmy soldiers, Killjoys, all you lovely people! In honor of this lovely occasion, I give you this update. It's just sort of a filler bc we went to my grandfathers to go swimming and eat dinner and stuff so I was busy all day. I didn't go swimming, but I stayed outside and worked on this. I took a break from this when my phone needed to be plugged in, so I plugged it in in the house and let it charge. Anywayyyy, here is this update. Next chapter will be longer. I hope you all enjoyed IMCRD in your own special ways, I hope you all didn't lose too many tears, and I hope you all have a great day!
      As always, please vote, comment, and enjoy reading!