Yeah, I'm a Bully, So???(Kakashi Love Story) (ON HOLD)

Chapter 32- Too Afraid To Be Selfless

"I think....you need to leave me alone." I said coldly, meeting his eyes. A flash of utter hurt flared in his eyes and I regretted it instantly. But I didn't know him. Why should I regret anything?

"As you wish." I heard him say monotone lay as he swiftly lifted himself from his position and was gone before my brain could comprehend it. I collapsed back onto the couch, sinking into it as deeply as I was sinking into my despair.

"Who is he?" I growled frustrated, my eyes questioning Molly, who had remained. She shook her head.

"It's better for you to remember those things on your own. I didn't mention memories of him because I don't know the times you shared. But you're important to him. Shouldn't you find out why?"

I gazed at the door the man had left from. Did I want to find out? From what I could tell already, he was a headache I should probably avoid. Remembering the pain Molly had described to me about how the village I had been staying in was burnt to the ground was terrifying to me. How did I handle the grief before? Could I handle it now?

"I'm not ready to find out." I said softly, avoiding her gaze.

"Ignorance isn't bliss, you know. You only think it is." Her words made something ugly fester in me.

"I don't care. Why should I want to remember something so depressing anyway?" I spat. She shook her head.

"Because people you cared about, people you loved....died. They died."

A soft, keening sound left my throat. I had only vaguely known a couple of people in that village, sweet-hearted ones indeed. Our attachment wasn't close enough I would cry for them,but....I didn't want to know they had died. I didn't want to know that I had come to love those sweet-hearted people more than my clan and see them taken away from me. In the most gruesome way possible.

"It's going to hurt though, isn't it?" I mumbled.

"It's supposed to. Don't be selfish."

I might've listened. I really would have. But that last line....."don't be selfish". Hmmm. I'd heard that line way too many times from my mother. The reason I had left was to be selfish, wasn't it? I couldn't handle my clan, their cruelty. I couldn't handle them. I needed to think for myself. And now the reason I was here was because, apparently, I had been too selfless. Too giving to others, to the point where I let them enter my heart and break it when they selfishly left me.

No. I wouldn't succumb to what Molly was trying to force on me. I met her gaze calmly.

"I will not." Her eyes narrowed.

"What did you say?"

"I'm not going to let you tell me what to do. If I don't remember, I won't owe anyone my time, my thoughts, my life. I don't want to spend time grieving, time reliving those moments. No thanks." I said emotionlessly. Molly looked utterly pissed. But I didn't care.

"Saya....since when do you disobey your master?" She barked. I shrugged.

"Since my master left me."

Molly looked taken aback. It was a low blow, but she had. I didn't feel like I could trust her anymore. I hadn't even known her all that well. And now, she claimed we had been close friends, comrades, the closest master and student. What if she was making up lies? I stood up abruptly.

"Where are you going?"

I walked to the door, only pausing to respond to her.

"What? Are you my mother now as well?"

I didn't really want to share any more words with her. I left before she responded.

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