So There's This Boy...

Chapter 7│The Almost Kiss

Wrapped Around Your Finger at the top because I had this song on replay while writing this. Plus this was the song Andrew was singing last chapter :) Just listen because it's awesome. And Ad and Forrest...hehe;) 

C H A P T E R 7

Sometimes I feel like I want to scream. 

Because there is this thing that humans call emotion. And I hate it. Because the tornado of them swirling inside me has never made me feel more helpless. Why did I have to be the one who got the conflicting, cruel, unrelenting emotions that leave me breathless and confused? I don't know what to do. I needed something--anything--to distract me. 

I needed to hit something. 

I needed to get it out of my system, to make it go away and finally leave me alone. But that's the thing. 

It never does. 

I can't tell anyone. I've tried. The councilors. The therapists. The stupid people who pity me and ask too many questions. I don't want to be pitied or looked at as if I'm wounded. I just want to be understood. That's all I've ever wanted. 

But no one, not one person, has ever made me feel that way. 

I said what they wanted me to. I said the lines that were fed to me, just to get me out of the stuffy office that always made me feel like I was in an insane asylum. 

I just can't live up to what they want me to be all the time. I can't say what they want me to, because I can tell they just wanted to get more than one word answers. 

I'm lost. I'm forgotten. I'm angry. 

I'm broken. 

~~~

The next two weeks passed by in a blur. Nothing had really changed. At some points I would feel okay, and others I would feel as if the grief would become too much. Immersing me. Suffocating me. I still had hope though, on a good day. 

Today I decided would be a good day. 

I climbed out of bed, rubbing my eyes groggily as I start up the coffee maker. Flora was still sleeping, her face impassive and innocent as she breathes deeply. 

While I waited for my coffee, I opened our closet and got dressed into the boring pleated skirt and oxford for school. 

Throwing my hair in a messy bun, I decided to wake Flora. Once I shake her and her eyes open slowly, I smile cheerfully as she groans and throws a pillow over her head. 

"WAKEY WAKEY!" I scream. 

She groans again. "Why are you so cheery?" 

"Why aren't you? I'm heading out early today. See you at school." I say before calling out, "You can have my coffee!" 

I almost walk straight into a fist. 

Forrest was standing outside my door, wearing jeans and a leather jacket. His hair was disheveled, as usual, as if he had run his fingers through one too many times. 

I had started becoming far too accustomed to that head of black hair. 

He lowered his fist. "Sorry. I was just about to knock." 

I raise an eyebrow as I glance at my phone screen for the time. "At 7:30 in the morning?" 

He shrugs. "I figured you'd be up." 

I look at him for a couple more seconds before starting to walk down the hall. 

"What's up?" I look over my shoulder at him. He was still standing where he was in my doorway, staring after me as I continue to walk down the hall.