TFP - Freezing Absence

13. Bitter

Flare struggled, forcing herself to her peds. The victory lasted only a moment before she fell back to her knee servos, hands bracing against the ground. Grinding her denta, she carefully began to crawl, feeling no other option if she were to move away from the crash site.

"He's not a bad mech," Flare whispered to the air. "I know he's not. He's just busy. He'll notice I'm not there. He'll miss me."

For miles, she crawled across the ground, managing to rise to her peds every so often and take a few steps before falling down again. Each time she fell, Flare's optics watered, but she forced the fluid away as she kept moving.

"I'm just as strong as he is, I know I am," she murmured, and to her, the wind laughed in response, taunting her. "I'm not weak," she hissed softly. "I am strong. I am a warrior. My creator and carrier survived the Pits. I can survive a fall."

The voice whispered back a mocking response that reminded her of the situation she was in.

"Shut up," Flare muttered, grinding her denta as she forced herself to her peds again. A few more steps, one more than last time, before she fell again. It was so hard to keep going, but she couldn't lie there waiting forever. If her sire knew, he'd call her weak for just waiting and compare her to a helpless human.

No, she was far more than that, even if the voice that followed her insisted otherwise.

As the retort 'You're a liar' was about to fly off her glossa, Flare heard voices closer than she'd expected. Hiding behind a tree, Flare concealed herself, mostly at least, and listened.

"Daddy!"

The voice was a child's, calling for her father.

Flare had never encountered humans before.

Peering around the tree, Flare saw a small child in a blue dress, running and shrieking in delight, away from an older human, a mech. As the mech reached the child, he picked her up off the ground, spinning her around, and the child laughed.

Turning back around, away from the sight, Flare vented softly, quietly jealous of the child with the loving relationship with her father. The laughter was still audible, and even though part of her was happy for the human femme, she was also envious of her.

"Michael! Kailie!" Another human voice joined them, this one as feminine as the child's. "Don't be out too long, the mosquitoes will be out soon! The last thing I need is you two itching up a storm!"

Venting slowly again, Flare placed the voice as that of a carrier, and her sadness grew. Not only did the child have a loving relationship with her father, but her mother as well. Both were alive and took good care of her, didn't they?

"I miss you, Daddy," Flare whispered to the air.

'He doesn't miss you,' the voice whispered back from the shadows.

"You're a liar," she said softly, too sad to put up much of a fight. "I know he misses me. You're a liar and I won't believe you."

'You don't know that,' the voice answered.

"I do. Go away," Flare murmured. Curling up into herself, resting her faceplate against her knees, hiding herself from the world.

She'd been fine aboard Nemesis. Why did Primus want her here instead?

Closing her optics, fighting against the fluid that brimmed against them, Flare forced herself into another period of darkness.

~~~

Flare wasn't certain how long she'd been in the dark, how long she'd been away. But the weather hadn't changed. The world still looked the same to her. Of course, she wasn't very familiar with it, so it could've changed and she wouldn't have noticed.

"I'm lonely, Daddy."

~~~

"The young sparkling hasn't shown herself lately, has she?" Starscream asked the warlord, a hint of taunting in his voice that would go right past anyone who didn't know what he'd done.

"ScatterFlare seems to have vanished," Megatron answered, grinding his denta. Not a day went by that his sparkling's absence went unnoticed.

"It would appear the young one has left us of her own free will," the Seeker continued. "Such a shame. She was the only bit of innocence this ship has ever seen."

"You know," the medic interjected, walking towards his superiors. "I happen to recall the sparkling asking me for a groundbridge to Earth. Said something about the Autobots."

"Why on Cybertron would Flare ask for a bridge?" Megatron asked, glaring at the medic intensely, suspicion rising in him. "Much less mention the Autobots."

"Who knows?" Knockout asked, shrugging his shoulders. "Maybe she finally realized that her sympathies and 'good nature' were better suited to her natural enemies."

"At least now we won't have to bother trying to to bring out her inner warrior," Starscream muttered. "The child was far too soft to survive among us. She would've been a liability on the battlefield more than anything. Not even worthless, just a frail little thing to protect. We certainly don't have the resources to keep her safe against the Autobots. Hopefully they'll at least spare her. But if they don't, it'll save us some trouble, now won't it?"

Megatron struck before the Seeker could react. The warlord didn't say a word, just stared at where Starscream had fallen to the floor, red eyes aglow, denta flashing in a silent warning.

~~~

Flare could hear the humans from where she sat. For days now she'd listened to them interact.

Each time they did, it broke a small piece of her inside. They had everything she'd pined for for so many vorns.

"It's okay, Daddy," she whispered. "We're not humans. I understand things are different for us than for them." But still, part of her ached. She tried and tried to convince herself that it was different, that Cybertronians and humans could never be the same.

But they were so, so, similar. They felt and loved and hurt just the same, didn't they?

Shuddering against her emotions, Flare shuttered her optics as the voice came to whisper to her again. 'You may be different, but is that enough reason? He is a bad mech. He is a bad sire. He does not care about you enough to save your life.'

"You're a liar," Flare muttered through her denta. "You're a terrible liar. I don't believe you. It wasn't his fault. It's not."

'But it is,' the voice whispered. 'It's certainly not yours, now is it?'

"It's nobody's fault," Flare answered. "Go away."

Soon, the only sounds were that of the small femme, and her parents.

Feeling defeated, Flare stood to walk away, still uneasy on her peds as she forced herself to keep going despite the ache.

She nearly fell several times, but Flare braced herself against a tree and kept going. The femme wasn't sure how far she'd gone, much less how much time had passed. All she knew was that the trees had thinned and the ground grew harder as she trekked, avoiding the sounds of humans as she went.

She collapsed, and the darkness enveloped her.

~~~

Megatron stood in Flare's room, looking at all the things she'd drawn. As much as the warlord tried to pretend it wasn't the focus of his attention, his optics always returned to the one of him being slain.

Megatron understood that it had been Flare's silent plea to end violence, a request to her sire to stop the war.

And thens he had left him, and a lonely bitterness began to rise in him, one that had been building for years, but had been calmed by Flare's continued presence.

Venting slowly, Megatron closed his optics as he placed his hand over the drawing.

"I'm sorry, Flare," he muttered. "But I can't stop now."