Silence is too loud (FINISHED)

T W E N T Y - N I N E

My mum came in to wake me up. I laid with my hands above my head and just let everything come back to me. 7:30 am, today was the day. Exactly four hours till she takes off.
I rolled myself out of bed, stripped the shirt off of me, folding it neatly, again petting the fabric. I showered quickly, ate only a little bit of porridge. When I went to go get her shirt, something caught my eye.

I picked up her shirt and walked to it. On my chair was my rugby shirt, it was long sleeved, thick material and warm. I loved that shirt, maybe a little more than the one I was sending to Milan.
It needs to go with her I thought. I took it and folded it as well with the t shirt and held it in my hands. I walked down the hallway with a lump in my throat that would go away. My mum had her car keys in hand, she had her reddish hair down in the curls that she claimed were the ugliest thing you could ever lay your eyes on. I never thought that because I had a slight wave to my hair and I quite liked it. Her hair reached her shoulders and framed her freckled face, I had those freckles as well. Not as many but I had them.

She put her light rain jacket over her favourite loose grey shirt and tucked her jeans into her socks as she put her Wellington boots on. My mum turned to me me inhaled as she handed me my jacket.
"Ready to go my love?" She mouthed. I walked towards her and hugged her unexpectedly. She seemed surprised but not at the same time, she hugged me back and rubbed my back like she did when I was younger.
"I love you mum," I told her. I knew I wouldn't be able to hear her say it back but I told her. She pulled me back so she could look at me. She smiled warmly and put her hand on my cheek
"I love you too monkey face," she mouthed.
"Let's go," my mum smiled. I put my coat on and held those shirts close to my chest. I held my mums arm like I used to, it might have been that I was a little fragile today but I couldn't help but act like I was 8 again, being a little dependent on my mum. It didn't take to long for us to get to her house. I saw four suitcases packed and two carryons. Maddy's mum was going to stay in Milan with her, she didn't want her going alone and she knew Maddy needed moral support through this. They were going to rent an apartment for the academic year and Maddy would stay there during the weekends.

Seeing the suitcases did make me realize this was indeed happening. The lump in my throat came back and I didn't think it was going to go away. We knocked on the door and the door just sort of pushed open.
My mum told me that Maddy's father had just yelled to come in.
Everyone was rushing around. Calum was there weighing a bag and mr Kingsley was on his laptop.
I knew where Maddy was, my legs took me to her bedroom and I pushed the door open. She was sitting on her bed with her phone on her chest.
She waved me over to her.
"This is it," she sighed as she peered up to me. I climbed onto the bed beside her, putting my arm under her head and petting her hair with the palm of my hand.
"The start of a great adventure," I spoke trying to whisper. Maddy rolled to me and let me hold her close to me. That lump in my throat grew and felt like a rock lodged into my windpipe. My hand went over her back, rubbing her spine with my palm flat against her and my fingers firmly rolling over the tight muscles.
When I moved her back a little, her eyes were wet and my shirt was slightly soaked.
"Why are you crying?" I signed. Maddy's palm swiped her eyes and she blew air from her mouth up to her eyes to dry her face.
"This is the last time in a little while that you will be this close to me like this." She stayed quiet for a second and then looked back up at me.
"Is this the right decision?"
I nodded.
"It's the most right decision."
She nodded her head and I kissed her nose, we got up from the bed and she grabbed a crumpled up piece of paper and put it in her back pocket.
I watched her walk to her newly empty closest and grab the last thing that was in there, a light pink scarf, it was an ashy kind of colour. The same pinky colour dress she wore the night after the dance, the one she wore during the dress rehearsal that softened her appearance. Made her look sweeter, softer, kinder.