So I know this is going to be an extremely long message, and its your choice to read it or ignore it. You may not care about my side of things at all, and that's fine, but I need to say it.
I guess I need "closure" from our whole situation. And I feel stupid for even writing this all, but I want to put it all in my past. I know I don't like you like that anymore, yet to this day I still think of you, and I don't want to anymore. So this is my last ever message to you.
First, I want to say sorry. Sorry for lying about who I was, and for wasting your time. I don't think I've ever gotten to truly explain myself for what I did. I don't remember if it was because I lied it off, or if you were to ashamed to ask. But I'll try and answer any questions I think you might've had.
You weren't the first guy I lied about who I was to. Don't think I was trying to hurt you. That was never my intentions.
It started with one little lie of what my name was on an omegle chat, and I ran with it. I created a whole fake personality and got all this attention. I talked to a laundry list of guys who were all "in love with me". And I played everything off as if it was a joke. As if it wasn't real. Unaware how I was affecting the other person.
But that act obviously didn't last long. It all blew up in my face, and I couldn't lie it off anymore. I was about to delete Kik, for many reasons. Mainly from being heartbroken, not having any purpose on Kik anymore, moving on I guess. But my friend and I decided to have one last group chat. The one you were added to.
I really didn't think anything was going to happen with us. But you messaged me everyday. And I fell back into my old habits of lying. You were curious about me. And I wasn't okay with the person I was. So I lied. And you know the rest of our story.
Second, I want to say thanks. Thank you for finally making me tell you the truth. I needed to be vulnerable and face the reality of it all. Thanks for making me feel a lot more confident in myself. I geneuinly appreciate you for that.
Yes, I did love you. I'm sorry for pushing you off, ignoring you, lying to you that I was busy. I was trying to distance myself because I knew I wasn't real, and nothing would come out of this. But I was in too deep. As much as I tried to just forget about you, I couldn't.
No, I don't regret it. The mistakes I've made were incredibly stupid, but I could never regret all of the time I've had talking to you.
I know you were distancing yourself from me too. Saying you "didn't want to deal with my shit". And that hurt. But I guess I deserved that.
And now things are just weird. Where I have times when I just miss you, miss the way things used to be. How our conversation flowed for hours. Replying immediately after I sent a message. And how you got annoyed when I wouldn't reply right away. Its crazy how that turned into getting a message from you like once every 2 weeks. And now to you sending a message only when you are horny. And I'm not too sure how I feel about that. Because when it comes to you, I can't just be physical without involving some emotion.
So where does that leave us? I feel I really don't know you, and you don't know me. And that's cool. I guess that's just makes this all easier.
So finally, I want to officially say goodbye. You won't be getting any "accidental" messages from me. I know this was long, but I hope I explained it all. Because I really needed to let you know my side of it, so you can finally be my past.
Sorry, thanks, and goodbye.
