Blessed

1. New Spring Breaking

My hands curled and uncurled. Crescent moon nail imprints reddened my palms now.

I stood still on the grass mat of the veranda, bound by disgust and helplessness. I was staring at those hands. Were they really mine? I kept trying to move. To find the broom. To sweep like Tantie had ordered but emotion had seised control over my muscles. The spring breeze coaxed my arms and legs, tugging at me to move. It raised goosebumps but nothing more. I was rigid with the roar coming from my heart.

"Never mind that, then," Tantie Iris looked up from her gardening, laying the work trowel down so she could cross her arms. Her voice was usually underwhelming, barely heard over the ruckus of everyday life. Today it carried the needles of exhaustion or frustration. My body pricked all over and I drew up my shoulders to wrap my arms across my chest. "Dust down in the cellar. Distraction is the only thing going to help you now."

Noise from the worn dirt road broke our eye contact. My parent's voices floated down the lane, carried only as a drone. Stefar walked between them, and Rosea behind. They were both silent, heads tilted down for two very different reasons.

"Go dust the cellar, Magnolia," Tantie said again. My face felt distorted as I turned back to her.

"But they're home. I can go ask what happened." The wind pulled at me again, whipping loose stray hairs from the low bun at the nape of my neck.

"Ask them what? We'll all talk about it later, as a family. The cellar needs cleaning and you're only going to upset yourself from here. It'll help you manage your feelings." She took up her trowel again, waving me away with her empty left hand.

I considered a moment before I turned back toward the house. My nose and eyes were stinging, face tilted up slightly to fight the onslaught of emotion. I abandoned my sister and re-entered the house.