Who Am I?

Rex Henderson

CHILDREN! DO NOT ATTEMPT THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS IN THE CHAPTER - IT MAY NOT END IN A HAPPY WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rex Henderson

“You SUCK!”

The loud cry can be heard from the other side of the half – pipe. Just a typical Friday night for me.  Chilling at the skate park with my mates; Chopper, Lucas, and Ben. Ben yells you suck again, along with a couple of expletives. I stand up off the hard concrete and dust off my jeans. Chopper laughs and chucks a beer can at me.

“Bro, you used be the best at axle stalls! What’s up with you anyway?” Chopper yells from behind.

I winced. Something was going on with me – and I was hoping the boys wouldn’t pick up on it.

“You grounded or something?” he asks in a mocking baby voice.

“No, chopper, you dumbass.” I reply

“Trouble with schoolwork?”

“Oh come off it Chopper! Since when does Rex give two shits about school?” Lucas duly points out.

“Ah ha! I know! Beth, right?” he asks in a knowing tone.

I stiffen and don’t reply. Chopper takes this as a yes.

“Hahaha!! Has old wifey got your balls on a chain again? ‘ooh baby, text me!’ “ he prances around, trying but failing to act like Beth.

“You’re a dick, you know that chopper?” I respond with a cold tone.

Beth was my girlfriend of 2 and a half months. But, the way she acted, you would think that we were serious or something. She ALWAYS wanted me to text her, or call her. If I spoke to another girl, she would cry and say I was going off her, and she would give me the silent treatment for days. She was a headache, but for some reason, I just couldn’t dump her. I said this to the boys.

“I can’t dump her, know what I mean?” I ask helplessly.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to dump a girl with tits like that…” says Chopper dreamily, but not before being slapped over the head by Lucas.

“Its cause she looks like an angel…” says Ben. We all slowly turn our head to stare at him, slightly disgusted.

“Joke! Its SO the tits bro.” he says jokingly. Lucas smacks his head against his palm.

“It’s true! How could you let go of someone that hot?” Chopper agrees.

“REX! What are you doing?” a high pitched voice yelps from behind me.

“Beth. What a lovely surprise.” I respond flatly.

“Never mind that.” She misses my sarcasm at keeps talking anyway.

“I just saw Haley. Were you with her? Are you cheating on me? Do you prefer blondes? Did you pay her? Was it worth jeopardising our relationship?  She is such a slut, I cant believe you would WANT to bang her over me!” she finalises her tantrum by stamping her foot

“Are you done?” I ask impatiently. She breathes deeply and nods.

“Good. First off, I didn’t cheat on you with Haley. Second of all, I just want to be able to hang out without having you pestering me 24/7. Ok?

“It’s fine. I’ll go then.” She replies frostily.

“Good.” I respond with no care in my voice.

Beth doesn’t reply, Instead I hear her footsteps growing dimmer as she walks away.

 “It’s gotta be the tits dude.”

Chopper gets greeted with a whack over the head by Lucas.

Later in the night, we decide to pack up our beer and skateboards and leave, much to choppers disgust. Ben ditches us for his on – off friend with benefits, Tricia.

“Dude, this is rank. Other people are having FUN and here we are doing nothing. Let’s go burn something! Or, or we could steal some booze!! C’mon man!!” he pleads desperately.

“Well, I suppose a fire sounds ok…” I start.

“YES! I released the animal from the cage!!” yells Chopper, fist pumping the air.

The boys and head down to a back alley of a crappy apartment block. I pull out a can of depderant from my back pack.

“Hey guys check out this mad trick.” I spray the deodorant on the wall, spelling out the words ‘fuck the police.’ I then pull out my cigarette lighter and hold it under the invisible spelling. I flick the lighter and the words show up in flames.

“WOOHOO! That is awesome!” yells Chopper. I pat the flames out with a discarded washcloth.

We spend the next ten minutes just vandalising on wall and the other writing flames words. Lucas doesn’t participate.

“I’m gonna go guys.” He says standing up.

“You’re missing out!” yells Chopper to his back.

“Ah well, he was a downer anyway.” I respond with a shrug of my shoulders.

“Yeah… so dude? You and Beth done it yet?” he asks curiously.

“No, I think she is trying to get a reputation as a tease… better than being a prude I suppose.”

“Dude you know what I would do to her if she was my girl?” he says with a cheeky smile.

He then proceeds to mime out one of the most disgusting yet hilarious interpretations of sex.

“Well well well. What do we have here?” asks a low voice from behind us.

“Shit… “ I hear Chopper whisper from behind me.

“Put your hands where I can see them.” Demands a police officer with a pot belly and bushy moustache.

“I see you have been doing some graffiti…’fuck the police’. Nice.” He says, chuckling at our stupidity.

“Lucas left at the right time…” Chopper grunts angrily. While the fat officer and his skinny young partner grab at us.

“OI! No talking!” yells officer tubby. Chopper sighs loudly when the officer cuffs his hands behind his back and he leans against the hood of the car. He searches Chopper, finding a bottle of Vodka and a Swiss army knife in the pockets of his cargo pants. he directs Chopper over to the vehicle and forces him in. Then he turns around and looks at me and his partner.

“Your turn sunshine.” He says, looking fed up. He pushes me against the hood while talking to his partner.

“I’m sick of picking up trouble maker kids Louie… aren’t you?” he then pulls out the spray paint of my backpack.

“C’mon son. We’re going to the station”

Once Chopper and arrive at the station we’re put in a holding cell and get to make a phone call to someone to bail us out. I debate who to call. It’s a toss up between Casper and Beth. I can only imagine Casper’s reaction, but decides Beth’s would be worse.

“Casper? I’ve been arrested. Graffiti. Sort of. Can you call Mum to bail me out? I only get one phone call! No, that’s not it! I AM sorry!” I don’t get to finish because Casper hangs up on me.

“Hung up?” Chopper asks sadly.

“Yeah…” I say, staring at the dead phone.

“What do you wanna do next time?” Chopper asks, perking up slightly.

“Come on man! You gotta be joking! We were arrested today for…AHHH!” I scream

“What is it man?” Asks Chopper concerned

“I think I’m paralysed!” I choke out.

“Yeah.. I’ve heard it all.” Says the officer on duty.

The last thing I see is the officers snarling face before everything goes dark.