Held together inside for too long
Critical mass exploding
Silently deep within the core
Of my body
Unnoticeable only to myself
Keeping it all contained
At all costs
No one around me
Has any clue of the
War that is building
Behind the smile
That my brain is split
In two parts each working
In conflicting ways
Be normal outside
Try not to lose it inside
Splinters cleaving off
My heart in
Jagged edges
That rebound through my veins
Leaving microscopic cuts
That do little damage
Other than to cause me stress
A million little nicks in the
Armor that I wear gallantly
My nervous system frayed
Each nerve ending
Misfiring
Pulsing an electrical frenetic
Current everywhere
A constant reminder of
My malfunctioning system
Still nothing shows on the outside
Able to power through familial
Obligations and keep the household
And schedule running smoothly
I do not allow the inside to
Effect the outside mask I wear
The desire to not draw attention
Is more powerful than asking
For help or respite or compassion
I am a warrior
A one-woman powerhouse
But when it gets to be too much
And the conflict between
Inner and outer reaches the end
Of the rope I cling to
The tears fall
Hopefully cleansing
All of me and providing me
The strength to make it through
Another blessed day
YOU ARE READING
Inner Ugliness
PoetryA compilation of raw poetry that I have written spontaneously without editing myself.
