I don't often show outward anger
I've been known to swallow it
Be nice and polite and smile
Don't show anyone
How I'm feeling inside
Even through the most unjust and disrespectful treatment
I will just smile and compress
All the pain and sadness deeper inside
Where I can hide it
After many years of "people pleasing"
A lifetime of suppressing
I feel a burning pain in my gut
Emotional, physical and spiritual
Lava bubbling down deep
Something is going to give
It's going to erupt out of me
I'm not even sure if I can control
The surge of release of all of these
Repressed, tamped down emotions
I'm finally accepting that all of my
Hiding has profoundly hurt me
I really wanted to keep the peace
And avoid conflict
To be the good girl
Not hurting someone else's feelings
I'd never want someone to feel like I do
Saving others from having to be
Accountable for their choices
For their actions towards me
Has basically been a slow suicide
From my own need to appear
Not to be affected by another person's
Cruelty, lack of consideration and
Hurtful choices
I only ended up hurting myself
Now I must face the massive volcano
Churning in my physical body
In my cracked soul
And I'm scared of what I will be
When I must walk through the
Process of eliminating this core of
Anger and injustice that seethes
Beneath the surface
Maybe I'll smile through it.
YOU ARE READING
Inner Ugliness
PoetryA compilation of raw poetry that I have written spontaneously without editing myself.
