I have to admit. The fresh air is doing wonders for my hangover. The loud sounds of the traffic, however, not so much. Glen seems to still be able to read me though, and leads us to the park. Much to my relief, it's quiet and free from children.
We stand by the little pond, watching the ducks in silence. This is nice. This is really nice. It's been so long since we had a moment like this. Since we had any moment, in fact.
“The last time we were in a park, you were screaming blue murder at Mark,” I hear him chuckle to my left. I join him in his chuckling.
“Yeah. He was being a royal prick that day.”
“He was bringing you to me.”
“That doesn't matter. He could have been so much more graceful.”
“Mark isn't graceful.”
“No. No he isn't.”
We stand again for a while. I'm not sure what to say to him any more. This used to be the man that I was going to be with for what I wanted to be forever. And now, he just feels like...an acquaintance.
“Are we going to be an issue?”
I look at him in confusion. What the heck is that supposed to mean? He glances at me before looking at his feet, almost guiltily.
“You working with Danny, I mean,” he mumbles.
“Why would we be an issue?”
“If it got out into the open...”
“I'm not ashamed of you, Glen. I could never be ashamed of you.”
“That's not what I meant. I meant, if it got out in the open when you and Danny...”
For fuck's sake. I really can't do this right now...
“Why the fuck does everyone assume I'm going to get it on with Danny?” I snap. “I don't even know the guy, and I'm being paired off with him already!”
“Come on, Emie. He's your type.”
“Apart from being Irish, I don't see anything that remotely resembles this 'type' that I supposedly have.”
“I just don't want to cause anyone any trouble.”
“Glen, come on! D'you really think I would do something like that?”
“You slept with Mark.”
The killer blow. I can't believe he actually went there. I sigh, trying so hard to keep it calm.
“That was eight years ago...”
“I'm not bitter. Really, I'm not.”
“Really doesn't seem that way to me, Glen.”
“I'm just saying that I give you permission to go for it if you want.”
“I don't want to go for it! I don't want people to think that I want to go for it! I just want to be his friend! And I don't need anyone's permission, even if I did want to go there.”
“I know. I just wanted to ease your mind.”
I sigh. I know he's just trying to make me feel better. But he's just making me feel worse.
“I haven't been with anyone since you, Glen,” I admit. “Mark doesn't really count, and don't tell me he does. Because he really doesn't. And going by that, I'm really not sure I'm even ready to look for something like that again. Especially not with the band-mate of someone who means so much to me.”
