Memoirs of a Forgotten Love

New feelings...

Tossing and turning all night, I couldn't sleep much. I switched on my phone to see the time, it was almost Fajr. I woke up and freshened up. I went out into my balcony, and inhaled the fresh breeze. Chilly and refreshing. I remembered the words I had read about Fajr; "The most burdensome prayers for the hypocrites are Isha and Fajr". The true meaning hit me. Indeed, abandoning the comfort of the warm bed and praying just so it's Allah swt's command is a sign of intense imaan. SubhaanAllah, may we all be granted high imaan and taqwa in our hearts.

After a while i heard the Fajr adhaan. I did my wudhu, and prayed. When it came to my supplication, I was truly confused. I didn't know what to ask for. My life had become so muddled up, with new things adding to it. I didn't know which part of my life needed to be looked into first and which part second. After a long pause of simple tears running down my face without any words to support them, I cried, "Ya Rabb, you're the Ultimate Guide, so guide me, I don't know which way I should go and which way should I abandon. Show me the path, and be the light in my darkness. Help me take decisions in life so that I don't make mistakes that cannot be corrected, be with me my Rabb, Ya Allah, be with me"

I got up from my salah, and saw my phone lit up. It was a text message. From, Imran.

[Friday, 1, July, 03:10

"Up? If not, didn't mean to disturb. Too excited to sleep."]

He was sleepless too. I was happy to know people get paid back in the same coin this well. Excited? What's so exciting? I was wondering if i should text him back, when another text came in.

[Friday, 1, July, 03:52

"A faster reply would be highly appreciated. I know you're up. 😏"]

The nerve of him. And that smirk emoji. I had a good mind to punch that smirk off his face. Another text went *ding*

[Friday, 1, July, 03:54

"I understand my texts excite you, and you can't keep calm, do reply when your hormones cool down."]

I could kiiiiillllllllll him... what does he think of himself. My furious fingers typed away to glory:

[Friday, 1, July, 03:58

"I understand you've had your way around other people who bear up with your self love, but such fits are not accepted here. Get over it."]

I wanted to write more. A few more lines on all the confusion he created before, and another few on how he thinks he can get away with that attitude, Hell, I could send him an essay.

*Ding*

[Friday, 1, July, 04:00

"Woah, the tigress is angry, did I wakey wakey you, hmm? It's not self love, my plum, it's just knowing one's worth😏"]

I could throw my phone in a ditch now. Plum? Eeeks... makes me cringe.
I typed him off:

[Friday, 1, July, 04:03

"Your smirks are killer. Literally 😠"]

*ding*

[Friday, 1, July, 04:05

"Hahaha, finally you're admitting it. I knew you couldn't resist the attractiveness i ooze from every pore I got on me. Thanks, doll face."]

Urrghhh...

Me:

[Friday, 1, July, 04:06

"You could do without those names, couldn't you? And I didn't ever say you're attractive. So fold up those wings and keep them under your bed."]

Him:

[Friday, 1, July, 04:08

"Ouch, that hurt... right here 👉❤... aww, my tootie frootie, does that make you mad, my smoochie doodle?"]

Now I seriously regret not having joined that secret assassin gang Fatima told me about.

Me:

[Friday, 1, July, 04:09

"Enough, crooked brain go to sleep, and try not to get on my nerves. I'm not too good when I'm mad"]

[Friday, 1, July, 04:12

"Hmm, I suppose I know that better than anyone else. I just can't wait for morning to arrive. I mean it's already morning, but you know what I mean. And I hope you thought hard about what I told you last night. I'm so positive about it, I don't believe it myself. Never been so positive about anything this much. I hope Allah swt will guide me this time to keep you safe and well with me without a slip.]

I was taken aback by this turn of events. Really? Did he know how i was when i was mad at things or people? Well, he is my... husband... he must have seen me giving up my hold on the rope of patience. And I knew he had something up his sleeves. And i did think way harder about it than he could ever imagine.

[Friday, 1, July, 04:15

"Well, yes, I had been thinking. Didn't yet reach a conclusion. Umm, I'll sleep a little maybe, so... bye"]

[Friday, 1, July, 04:16

"We'll see about what you decide after you wake up later In Shaa Allah. And you still do hate those melodramatic endearments, don't you meu bonita? 😉]

[Friday, 1, July, 04:18

"Ohkay... now shut up, will you? Night. 😑]

I kept my phone away. And slept. A really deep and peaceful sleep. And I had a smile on my face. Hate to admit it. Well he'll never know. I'm safe. That conversation wasn't really something you expect of a lost and found couple, but it strangely warmed my heart. That crook-brained-undeniably-attractive-self-airing-and-my-husband-guy was really making me feel good.

*******************

Imran's POV

After a long long time, Alhamdulillah I felt so light. Like I was finally how I wanted to be. Talking to the Shamreen I knew, who knew me and my ways with her, or rather getting a glimpse of her, was a cool breeze to my heated soul. In Shaa Allah now I would get her and make her mine, once and for all. I just hope, that Allah swt guides me, so I don't give in to my anger and Shaytaan. I slept peacefully like I hadn't known peace before. Smiling throughout for so long, was a completely new feeling. A rare fit, almost. Alhamdulillah.

*******************

Next morning I woke up at around 10. When I didn't come down at my usual time, mom came to my room to wake me up. She placed my head on her lap and massaged my forehead. This is my favourite thing. She usually prays and does dhikr when she does this. I groggily wrapped my arms around her and felt absolute bliss. "Shimmie, wake up beta."
"Mmhhmm... yeahhh.. *croak* *snort* *sleep*" "Shimmie, it's past 10: 15... come on"
"Let me sleeeeeee..."

"But we have guests sweetheart"

Note: no notes... Just lots of love and gratefulness for the support. 😍☺️