Christine's short stories

Chapter 2: Busted are catching my drift

           “I’m hoping that the fear will go away, don’t wanna be a fake!”

Karina loved Busted, she really loved them! They were the only group of men, apart from All Time Low, that she truly loved. The lyrics echoed in Karina’s head from time to time. She knew it was a sexual innuendo for the fact that a guy is afraid his little friend won’t perform, but she read deeper into it. Why would a guy be afraid while he’s having sex? He wouldn’t, right? He’d feel powerful and dominant. But this guy doesn’t. Why?

Karina gets that sometimes too though, the fear I mean. She sometimes thinks that the singers and lyrics are talking specifically to her, and everyone just like her.

And then there was the question of “fakeness”. It’s as if the singer is lying about something fundamentally important, something stopping him from performing.

Karina lies all the time, to everyone, her parents, her teachers, her friends but sometimes, even herself. What Karina has never told anyone, is that she herself is a huge fake. She’s not who everyone thinks she is. That’s why she’s fearful too. She’s just afraid someone will find out her secrets. Karina is a lesbian. When people ask her, she denies it, when a guy asks for a kiss, she gives it. She’s just keeping up with appearances.

Karina is afraid that someday, someone is going to unravel her web of lies. She wants to tell them though; she wants to shout it out at the world, telling everyone. She doesn’t want to be a fake, and she’s just hoping that the fear will go away.