The 12 Elementals

Yes, Vampires Do Suck

More crude humor here so watch out!

This one is in the Twilight world! I was a fan of the series at one point and I don't mean to offend any fans!

Again, this is for fun and not to be taken seriously. Just enjoy it.

And also, I am not able to enter in the 2016 Wattys! Wish me luck and thank you all very much!

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ENJOY!

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Reason parks the super expensive car outside the Highers. Germany is a beautiful place this time of year, all green and stuff. I get out and happily skip up the steps to the dark castle that looks like it was designed by the ducking Adam's family. Once at the top, I smile down at Reason, who uses his speed to reach the top. I lightly tap on the door, and is greeted by Vivian, a peculiar vampire. She has the ability of mild hypnosis: she can make you forget you ever saw her and your purpose in the world. She answers the door in case unwanted intruders try to storm the castle.

I can 'barrow' powers from the other vampires, meaning with one touch I can receive whatever power that vampire has, but don't worry, they still keep it. I have trained myself to only take a power I wants, god forbid I fight with a vampire who can do something useless and get their power. Currently I can maintain up to four different powers and have mind reading, speed, and Bella's mental shield because that shit is cool, and that witch's power to make you see whatever the heck she wants you to see. I am around three hundred years old but still hot as duck. Reason, my lover, is even older than me at four hundred and sixty three. He turned me into a vampire for such selfish reasons. He was lonely. I was in the hospital, dying of cancer. One night I had managed to sneak out of the hospital, all I remember is thinking I didn't want to die there. I went to a nereby park, where Reason was lurking in a tree hoping to find a late night snack. I was sitting on a bench when he approached and I had never seen someone so handsome, with those red eyes and dark hair. I thought he was an angel, coming to take me to the afterlife. Boy was I wrong. He changed me because apparently in one of my loopy moments I asked him to save me. When I awoke as a vampire, I almost killed Reason. But he knew more about fighting and took me down. For the first few decades I really hated Reason, I resented him for interfering with my life and not letting me die like I was supposed to. I tried running away but he would always follow me, watch from a distance. Took some time for me to come around, and even then there were fights, but eventually he grew on me. He helped me with my power, which took lots of practice. Reason has a special control over fire, which can be terrifying considering fire can kill a vampire. And I can absorb power. So you can imagine the danger we were in.

"We've been expecting you." Vivian said, opening the door to let us in.

"What is it this time? Another war?"

Vivian shook her head and took the lead, "We're not sure yet,"

We went way under ducking ground and into the chamber of secrets. Cherry sat on her Victorian, plush high chair with her loonie vampires throughout the room. You see, a decade ago there were these old ass vampires who called themselves the Volturi and they were basically the ducking police, judge and executor of the vampires. For many decades, Cherry was a part of the Volturi, her power being extremely useful because when she is near you feel a great sense of happiness but when she leaves there is an ill feeling. She kept the wives of Aro, Marcus and the other one very happy with their shitty lives of being held captive. But Cherry didn't like being told what to do and thought of her power to be higher than what she was credited. So she manipulated other vampires, even a few werewolf packs, into rebelling against the Volturi. Naturally, me and Reason helped because apparently the Cullen's are a bunch of girls who don't want to risk their life to be truly free of the Volturi even though the V wanted to tear them a part and only keep, like, four of their members. But she was able to get even more vampires, even a few of Carlisle's friends, to help her kill Aro, Marcus, and the other one. Those who resisted her rise to power were killed but most were content with the new management.