The Fault in our Scars (originally known as 'Maybe Baby' by Alex Snape)

Chapter 6

"I feel ridiculous," The Joker mumbled as he knelt in front of Harley as she sat at the end of their bed, her nightgown hiked over her belly.

"Just start talking to him, Pud," Harley said simply.

"Can't I do that after he's born?" he sighed as he looked up at her, shifting himself to sit on the floor and crossing his legs.

Harley sighed in frustration. "Dr. Stein said that may be the reason why he isn't kicking. There isn't any external stimulus-"

He closed his eyes and held up his hands. "I know, babe; I was there, remember?" Harley crossed her arms in a huff and pursed her lips.

The Joker rolled his eyes. "Fine...how do you talk to a belly, then?"

Harley chuckled. "Don't talk to my belly. Talk to your son." He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He was already tired from all of the excitement and he was anxious, too, about the fact the baby hadn't moved, but he really needed to rest.

"Okay," he said and turned his head to her belly. He opened his mouth to say something and then stopped himself. He licked his lips and tried again, but then shrugged. "Harl..."

Harley smiled. "Just say the first thing that comes into your head."

He raised his eyebrow at her again. "Cupcake, do ya know who you're talking to?" Harley gave him an annoyed look. He sighed again and said to her belly, "Uh...hey, kid. Hot enough in there for ya?"

Harley giggled. "That's it," he said, frustrated. "If you're gonna laugh at me, I'm not gonna do it."

He started to get up, but Harley put her hand on his shoulder and made him sit again. "No! I'm sorry, Puddin'. It was just so cute."

"Well, did he do anything?" he asked.

She shook her head and seeing The Joker's frustration, she suggested, "Tell him a joke or something."

The Joker laughed. "One of my jokes? C'mon, Harl." He paused for a moment and then looked up at her. "There were these two muffins-"

"Tell him, not me," Harley interrupted, motioning to her stomach.

The Joker cleared his throat and began again, "There were these two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other 'Sure is hot in here.' And the other muffin says, 'Holy shit! A talking muffin!'"

There was a pause. "That was lame," she snickered, but she soon couldn't contain her giggles.

"Lame, huh? Is that why you're about to wet yourself?" he teased.

Harley stopped and gave him a grin. "Well, that didn't work. Try another one."

The Joker thought for a moment and then said, "Ok. This old drunk came staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking with her young child. 'Lady, that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. God damn!' As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. 'What's the matter, madam?' he asked. She said, 'I've just been horribly insulted.' 'There, there,' said the mailman. 'Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for your monkey.'"

Harley burst out laughing. "Babe, that's terrible!"

The Joker looked at her, confused. "You always say that about my jokes, but yet you laugh. I don't understand you," he said with a big smile. Harley wiped a tear from her eye and caught her breath.

He put his hand on her belly. "Nothing?" he asked. Harley shook her head and he chuckled, "This is one stubborn kid."

Harley returned his laugh. "Takes after someone I know..."

"Oh, God. Just what we need. Another you!" He grinned at her as she laughed again and kissed her cheek. He helped her to her feet and she let her night gown drape over her belly as she waddled to her side of the bed. The Joker stopped her from getting under the sheets by putting his hand on her hips and kissing her shoulder. "Goin' to sleep, baby doll?" he asked her as he brushed her hair off her neck and put gentle kisses on her soft skin.

She gave him a soft moan and said, "Not yet. I'm gonna finish a chapter in my baby book." She let herself plop down onto the bed and she was quiet for a moment. Then, lifting her blue eyes to The Joker, she whispered, "I'm getting nervous..."

The Joker smirked. He didn't want to admit that, as the day of delivery drew nearer, he was nervous, too.

He caressed her cheek. "You'll be fine," he reassured her, then he spotted a notepad under her book and pulled it out. "What's this?" he asked.

She picked it up. "Oh, it's just a list of names..."

He glared at her in silence and her lips parted in surprise. "What?" she asked, softly.

The Joker took a deep breath and licked his lips. "We're giving him your last name," The Joker said. Harley simply nodded.

He looked down the list of names. "Ugh. Simon? No thanks." He took her pen and crossed it off of her list.

Harley laughed. "Hey! Wait a minute! Why not?"

He scanned the list again. "Dylan? You mean like Bob?" She nodded and smiled. He looked at her. "Hmmm...nope!" he said as he crossed out the name.

"Baby! Stop it!" she laughed.

"Hang on, babe. This is serious." He scanned the list again as he playfully held her back. "Charlie? Oh, hell no!"

He scribbled the name off the list and Harley grabbed the pen from him. "Geez! Go scribble stuff in your study! Weirdo..."

"What'd you say, little girl?" He put his lips to her neck and blew a raspberry onto her skin. She squealed at how much it tickled and kicked her legs.

He blew a few more into her neck when she suddenly stopped him. "Puddin'! Wait...!"

"Too much, darlin'?" She grabbed his hand as she lifted her gown again. He gave her a confused look but his puzzlement was relieved as she placed his hand on her belly again.

The baby was kicking.

He felt something bump his hand and started back at first. He looked down at Harley with wide eyes and she grinned as he said, "I think we woke him up." They shared a chuckle and The Joker now had both hands on her belly, moving them all around to make sure he didn't miss a kick or a punch.

After a few minutes, the baby stopped and The Joker noticed that Harley was crying. He rubbed her leg. "Hey, Harl, shhh. It's okay...see? I told you everything was fine."

Harley didn't speak, but nodded as he kissed her hands and wiped a few strands of hair from her forehead. "Don't stay up late, please," she said softly.

He sighed. "Don't you stay up late." He pulled the covers over her belly and kissed her cheek. "Go to sleep," he said as he closed the bedroom door behind him, and Harley turned off her light as she listened to his footsteps head to his study.