The Fault in our Scars (originally known as 'Maybe Baby' by Alex Snape)

Chapter 5

Three months pregnant
---------
The Joker had to admit that he was intrigued by the pregnancy as all Harley ever did was talk about everything relating to babies.

"We'll need to get a good crib, but one that's also small enough to fit in the corner of the bedroom. Oh! Maybe we can find one that can convert into a bed when he gets older! I'll need to get a diaper pail and a changing table and lots and lots of bibs..."

In fact, one corner of their bedroom was already more prepared than The Joker. "Harl," he had grumbled one night as he looked at the pile of baby supplies from his place on the bed. "The kid isn't even here yet and already you have a baby shrine. We still have six months!" Harley would just ignore him and continue to fold and re-fold the burp cloths.

The Joker felt a slight change in him while he was surrounded by onesies and pacifiers. He would still stay up late in his study concocting new plans for the next job, but while he was scribbling or cutting away, he would continually take a break and check to see how Harley was doing, whether she was resting in the bed or even getting a glass of milk in the kitchen.

One night, while Harley was darning one of The Joker's socks while sitting on the sofa, she had realized that Elvis hadn't been around very much. She mentioned this to The Joker as he sat rubbing her toes on the other end of the couch. He gave her a small scowl and replied, "I dunno, doll...he just better hope I don't find him."

Harley smirked as she returned to her darning. Seconds later, she moaned lightly, making The Joker turn his head. "What's wrong?" he asked, creasing his brow in slight concern.

"Oooh," she moaned again. "I just got a weird craving..."

The Joker chuckled. "Yeah?"

She licked her lips and batted her lashes at him. "Daddy? Will you do me a huge favor, please?"

He smiled at her. "Sure," he said. "What can Daddy get his babies to make them feel better?"

"Rocky Road and pickles," she said in a serious tone.

All he could do was blink. "Come again?"

"Please, Puddin'! I'm craving it. Go get some for me, please."

"Are you serious?" The Joker said. "That's disgusting."

"I know!" Harley exclaimed. "It's weird, but I want it. Please, Daddy..."

He sighed and shook his head. "I'll get the rookie to do it..." He stood up from his seat on the sofa and headed to the front door. He pulled out a wad of bills from his pocket and met his men as he opened it. "Hey, kid!" he shouted and the young rookie trotted nervously over to his Boss. "Here. Go get princess some Rocky Road ice cream and a big jar of pickles."

The kid, Angus, sneered in disgust, but nodded. "Um...sure, Boss."

"And chocolate milk, please!" came Harley's shout from the den.

"You heard her," The Joker muttered and shut the door before he could hear his men give disgusted noises.

An hour later, The Joker stared at his girlfriend in disbelief as she shoveled ice cream into her mouth while alternating bites of a giant, crunchy pickle between spoonfuls. She paused and finally met his eyes. "What?" she asked, a big bite of sugary, sour pickle in her mouth.