Sickening Desire (Richonne AU)

8: Hopeless Romantic

Michonne's P.O.V

"Why did you run, Meesh?" Andrea asked as the moonlight shun upon her soft tan skin.

"I- I don't know, it just didn't feel right." I sighed

I don't know man, part of me wants to let Rick in and the other part is telling me no.
I don't know if he's what I want.. I mean, no one can fall in love in just two weeks can they?

No... We're moving way too fast.

I think?

"Love with your heart and not your head." She whispered

What does that mean?

"What was the real reason you ran?"

I scoffed and looked at her in the night like she was crazy, "Nothing. I told you, it didn't feel right."

She chuckled lightly and gently nudged my arm, "I know you. There's another reason."

Ugh who am I kidding. Andrea can sense a lie before I even tell it.

"When I kissed Rick, I uh, I thought of Mike." I confessed

She gasped and pulled me into a soft hug, to which I laid my head upon her shoulder.

"Meesh you gotta let him go. You're better than that."

"He's the father of my child, it's not that easy."
I was almost on the verge of tears just thinking about Mike, how easily I fell in love with him.
Just like I am with Rick.

You see, Mike was this man who never knew what life could offer for a man as great as him, he was perhaps too good for me. As to Rick is himself.
But he fell for me anyway, and we stayed together for a long time, he never asked me to marry him and I generally got the sense that he never really wanted to.

And as the years went on, after we had Andre and what not, things got more difficult, we were faced with more challenges. I begged him to stay, try to remember what we had in the beginning.

But it didn't seem to work.

I still remember all of our good times but  I still remember the time his hand went across my face.
I still remember how drunk and high he had gotten to the point where I was his ragdoll.
I still remember Andre screaming "daddy stop!" and his hands tightening around my neck.

"You okay?" Andrea exclaimed

When I fell from my thoughts, I realized tears were rolling down my face. I couldn't control them, they just fell at the thought of Mike.

Andrea pulled away from the hug and examined my stone cold face with tears that could drown us both.

"I don't love him anymore and I don't miss him. I just loved the way he loved me and I just miss the way he made me feel." I sniffled, convincingly.

"What are you waiting for? Someone could love you more." She smiled.

Hate to admit, but she's right.
There are men out there that would love to love me, I bet.

"You're right," I faked a smirk "I'm gonna go inside and get some sleep with Andre." I sighed, wiping the tears from my eyes with the sleeve of my favorite long sleeved sweater.

"Goodnight Meesh."
We hugged one last time before I got up and turned to follow the path to Andrea's small house on the hill.

I really enjoy staying here with her, I mean it's sorta like paradise. Just us and Andre in her small 2 bedroom house in the middle of the country. No sounds, no gunshots for miles, no crimes, nothing. Nothing like the sweet, sweet country.