Devoted // l.s

Chapter 14

A woman took my order as I sat at a table,
taking out my notebook and pencil. Is it corny to say that I felt like a main character in a book or movie sitting here?

The little bell above he door shook and made a noise, alarming anyone inside that someone had just entered. It was Niall and ... Harry. What are the chances.

"Hey Louis." Niall smiled. 

"Fuck." I mumbled to myself. Harry looked at me with a nervous expression. I grabbed all my stuff and rushed out, not even acknowledging Niall's greeting. I can't believe they came the same time I did. Why are these two at a cafe anyways? They both hate coffee and it's not their typical hang out spot.

My emotions are all mixed up right now and I don't think I could put up a fake front. I can't act like nothing ever happened the same way Harry can.

Harry's POV

Liam, Niall, and I were sitting around at my dorm just talking after classes had ended.

"What's up with you and Louis?" Liam asked, putting me on the spot. My heart started racing rapidly.

"N-Nothing." My eyes trailed to my hands. I can't start talking about Lou ... I know I'll say something that exposes me. It's so hard not talking to him. Laughing with him. Seeing him. I didn't realize the impact he made on me until recently. All the extra time I have I spend thinking about it. I regret ignoring him but I don't know how to talk to him right now.

"Hm. I thought you two had a thing going on." Niall stated. I know what he's trying to do.

I stayed quiet and kept my eyes on my hands.

"Harry. You know it's fine if you like Louis, right?" Liam said in a soft tone. Opening up about feelings is a tough one for me. I just feel embarrassed.

I sighed. "I know. I'm distancing myself for his sake. He's either going to get hurt or I'm going to fuck up. He's a person I don't want to lose, even as just a friend."

"You're losing him right now." Niall scoffed. "How do you think he feels about being ignored? About being toyed with? Maybe the flirting or just jokes seem harmless but Louis is human too. He has his own feeling and thoughts."

Fuck. They sure know how to guilt trip someone. "I'm not even in a good place right now. I don't want to hurt him when I lash out or have my moments."

"I understand but have you realized how much you've bettered yourself after he was around? The way you're finally you again?" Liam leaned forward with his arms on his knees.

I know what he's saying is true but just knowing that he could slip away too hurts. But he's also right about him being lost right now. Fuck. I'm pushing him away but that's not what I want. I just keep making myself believe that if I finally get what I want, it'll be ripped away. I'm toxic. All I do is break the things I touch. I don't want to break him.

As if he read my mind, Niall chimed in. "You shouldn't be afraid of being selfish. Being vulnerable is terrifying but you'll only hurt him if you think you will." Oh look who's suddenly a wise man. I can't believe these two are lecturing me.

"Just tell him already mate! You're making it way harder on yourself and on him. Trust me, it's obvious the way Louis feels about you. Not to sound cringy or anything but the ball is literally in your court man." Liam laughed to ease the serious atmosphere.