How to Save a Life

two

(A/N: Right off the bat sad bc I suck at prolonging things. Also: if this story had a trigger warning sign it'd be bright yellow and posted on every single chapter so pls don't read if it's gonna cause you any harm I don't want to see you guys hurt. Also know that if you need to talk about anything, I'm here.)

• Leo •

  I was working on a machine, just like always, and the stupid thing wouldn't work. Nothing was wrong with it, it was exactly like the blue prints, but it just would not work.

  I don't know why I was getting so worked up about it. I took a deep breath and took it apart, before re-assembling it, making sure everything was perfect. It still wouldn't work.

  I sighed and slammed my head on the table, before hearing the dinner bell ring out. I stood up and knocked the stupid thing off of the table and left, heading towards the Dining Pavilion.

  I sat at the very end of the Hephaestus table, considering every other seat was full. I got my food, burnt a bit for my dad, before I began eating. It was loud, but no one talked to me. I didn't talk to anyone. Every time I tried to get into a conversation, everyone would practically ignore me. I blinked back tears the entire time.

  Soon, it was over, and I couldn't be happier. The sun was beginning to set, so I headed down to the lake and sat down on the beach, messing around with the sand in front of me. It was getting dark and everyone was retiring to their cabins, but I stayed where I was.

  I had never felt so alone. Though I had been the seventh wheel on the Argo, I still had friends. I had Calypso. I had Jason. I had Piper. I had Nico. Now I have no one.

  Maybe I never had anyone. That's why it was so easy for them to just leave.

  Tears began making their way down my face. This Camp was designed for demigods to be around people like them, but I had never felt so isolated and out of the loop. The real world wouldn't be any better, but if I was lucky, a monster would find me and-

  I couldn't think like that. As much as I wanted to, death wasn't an option. I had fucked up too many times to go to Elysium. I still had some time to redeem myself.

  I pulled my knees to my chest and stared at the water. The moon's reflection glittered and stars dusted the water's surface. Tears burned my eyes and made tracks down my cheeks. I hated crying, I hated seeming weak, but I couldn't stop them. Sobs rose up in my throat, but I suppressed them.

  Death didn't seem like a bad idea. Maybe eternal punishment wasn't all that bad. It wasn't like I didn't deserve it.

  Suddenly, my feet were in the water. I looked behind me to see the Camp deserted, everyone in their cabins. I took another step, then another, and then another, until I was halfway in. I continued walking until my head was almost under. I looked back again.

  The home that wasn't home. That's what Camp was. The outside world wasn't home either. I didn't have a home.

  I swam out until the shore looked too far away to make it to. If someone saw me, I was too far out to save.

  I took a breath and plunged under the water. I allowed myself to sink to the bottom, where I sat in the mud and looked up at the glittering surface. Too far up to make it if I changed my mind.

  I let out all of the air in my lungs and watched the bubbles rise up to the surface. It was the most calming way to die.

  I took a breath of water in and let it fill my lungs. I didn't struggle. I didn't cough. My vision began to blur and turn black at the edges. I began losing feeling in my fingers and toes.

  I had heard stories of people trying to commit suicide and every single time, they had a moment of oh gods I don't want to die.

I didn't have one of those moments.

Instead, I gave in to the darkness and closed my eyes.

•

I woke up in a cabin, wrapped in a warm, soft blanket. Where was I? Was I dead? I had to have been. No one just drowns and makes it.

"You're not dead," a familiar voice said, causing me to jump and turn to the person sitting next to me. There sat Nico di Angelo, looking tired as ever. "What were you thinking?!" he seethed.

  "How did you find me?" I asked calmly, realizing I was dry and my clothes were dry as well.

  "I felt your spirit leaving so I shadow traveled to you as quick as I could. Luckily, I got there in time," he said, exasperated. "Why, Leo? Why did you do it?"

  "I-I don't know, I just...I feel so alone. I have no one."

  "Shit, this is my fault," Nico whispered. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have left."

  I didn't say anything, instead looking to my hands as I fiddled with my fingers.

  "But what about Jason and Piper?"

  "They're always making up some excuse. I'll go ask Jason to hang out and he'll say he's gonna hang out with Piper and then I go talk to Piper and she says she's hanging out with Drew or something. They never want to talk or hang out with me. I sit alone at lunch because no one wants to hold a conversation with me," I admitted, my eyes watering. "I'd leave Camp and start over, but I don't have anyone outside of Camp either." 

  "Leo..." Nico trailed off, his eyes sad. "I'm sorry," he took a deep breath and sighed. "Things are going to be different. I'm gonna stay this time and you're never going to be lonely again, okay?"

  I nodded and he gave me a soft smile.

  "Was this uh...your first attempt?"

  "Yeah."

  "Your last?"

  I looked to my hands, avoiding his gaze. He sighed and nodded, before reaching over hesitantly. He then pulled me into a hug, before letting go quickly.

  "I'm always here for you, Leo, okay?"