On The Run: Part Two

Chapter Twenty - "Side Effects"

“I mean, you and me. I can’t be with you anymore. You can’t come and see me, and we can’t be us anymore. It’s too hard, and you should probably focus on you right now.”

If we weren’t us, then who was I?

“Aren’t you hungry? Your breakfast’s still sitting at the table.”

I fingered the edge of my covers, “I’m sorry about that. I’ll eat it now.”

She gave me a half-smile, “Of course you won’t. I got dinner. Come on.”

She stood up and walked over to the door, and turned when she realized I wasn’t getting up.

“You’re going to have to get up at some point,” she said softly.

“I’m coming. I need to make a call real quick,” I replied.

“Okay, but if you don’t come out, I’m going to carry you out,” she said.

I found my lips curling into a small smile, unintentionally, as I nodded. “Five minutes.” I didn’t want to smile. I wanted to cry or die. My shoulders were heavy, as was my heart, and my mind.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he said.

This, he said. This was us. And we weren’t us anymore. So, what were we?

She turned and began to walk out, but stopped, “Chloe, talk to me, okay? I’m a pretty good listener,” she said.

I nodded and waited for her to shut the door behind her before I pulled out my phone and dialed the number I had for the Madison County Jail.

“Chloe Lane for Fitch Jackson,” I said, after the call was answered.

“I’m sorry, you’re not on his list.”

I felt my heart clench. It was all the confirmation I needed.

“Please don’t visit or call or . . . write.”

“Are you sure?” I felt like I was asking myself that question.

“No Chloe on this list, ma’am,” he said, and I pressed ‘End.’

The weight on my shoulders had shifted to my chest, and my mind was suddenly filled with absolutely nothing. I could barely string my thoughts together.

Was this really the end? That was the question I couldn’t stop asking. Surely, it couldn’t be.

“Don’t wait for me. We were great, but there’s somebody better out there for you.”

WHAT? I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry and scream and punch something. And I wanted to laugh out loud, because it couldn’t be the end! It simply couldn’t be.

My phone rang as I put it on my dresser. I felt like my heart was breaking again. It was the ringtone.

Love Love Love by Avalanche City. Fitch’s song. Our song.

I was starting to see the point of having a song – the memory of that moment, that person and that feeling. Only, in this case, it wasn’t really proving useful.

I didn’t even check to see who was calling, as I stepped out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom, where I locked the door behind me and crumbled to the floor.

The walls were thick enough that I knew Sarah might not hear me, but I turned on the water in the sink and the tub, and let myself go.

Completely.