Five

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In honor of Tzuyu's birthday...

-Sana-

Finally, after Tzuyu was cremated, it was the end of the ceremony. Her family scattered her ashes in the casket, and her favorite places in Taiwan--their home, old dance studio,etc--and I stared as they decided where else to put it. I felt the strong urge to ask them could I have the rest, to remember my Chewy by, and to scatter her ashes in my room, the studio, and the park we would always go to.

"Uh, excuse me," I said in Taiwanese, recalling some phrases Tzuyu taught me. "Could I take some of that?"

Her dad pointed at the beautiful bowl Tzuyu's ashes were in. "These?"

I nodded, feeling the group members' eyes on me. This would probably be weird for them, but I felt like I was obliged to do this. Tzuyu like places in South Korea as well.

About half of her ashes were left, and he gave me the bowl. I bowed and said, "Thank you", in Taiwanese before going back to the group.

"Are those...?" Nayeon started.

I nodded. "She loved places in South Korea too."

"You don't think that's a bit too far?" Mina asked.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "No."

I held the bowl close to me as they lowered her casket into the ground. It hurt a bit to see that, that it could have been all her ashes in it. But it made me feel better that I had half of her with me. I wonder what parts I had. Her head? Her legs? Her body? I didn't care, I'm just glad to have some of Chewy with me now.

All the members kept giving me weird looks. Except Jihyo. Who couldn't even look me in the eye.

On the flight home, I sat with Momo and Jungyeon, with my covered bowl still in my hands. I traced the patterns on it, wondering if Tzuyu was doing okay in the afterlife. What was it like there? Was she safe? Happy?

"...Who would do such a thing?" I heard Momo ask beside me. "Tzuyu wouldn't hurt a fly."

Jungyeon shrugged. "Maybe he was a serial killer. Or there was something mentally wrong with them."

"Whatever happened, it was clever. She died from suffocation."

Jungyeon shook her head and sighed. "I wish Tzuyu was still here."

"Don't we all?"

I tore myself away from the conversation and looked out the window. Tzuyu was still here. With me, at least.

And as soon as we arrived back home, I rushed to my room. Along the way, I was being my usual, clumsy self and tripped over a chair in the room, spilling some of Tzuyu's ashes. If it had been somewhere else, I would have rushed to scoop them up like a mad person.

I sat her bowl on my bedside table and lied on my bed. Jetlag was taking its toll, but I didn't want to let her bowl out of my sight. The other members probably think I'm crazy, but I don't care. I'm going to take care the rest of my Chewy better than I'll take care of myself.

"Um, what's going on here?" I heard Nayeon ask in the hallway. I heard many footsteps coming down the hall and past the room.

"An investigation, ma'am. For Miss Chou's death," a manly voice informed. "Nobody is allowed in her room until the investigation is over."

"Investigation for what? She died of suffocation."

"We cannot be too sure ma'am. We're just doing our job afterall..."

A while passed with me occasionally dozing off. There would be heavy footsteps whenever I woke up and people talking in hushed voices. Then I heard Jihyo call my name, saying dinner was here. But I didn't want to eat. I couldn't let Chewy out of my sight ever again. I'll even shower with the curtain open just to keep my eyes on her.

A sigh was heard at the door, and I looked up to see the leader.

"Sana, are you coming?" Jihyo asked.

I looked away and shook my head. "I'm not coming."

I heard Jihyo hesitating before adding, "You can bring Chewy as well."

"No thanks. I'm not hungry."

"Sana, you can't stop eating. That won't help anybody."

"As if you could help! Where were you when Tzuyu died?!" I snapped.

I glanced up to see the hurt in Jihyo's eyes. When she left I groaned into my pillow. I didn't mean to snap at her, it just came out. Now I have to apologize...After a quick nap...

"Sana..."

Tzuyu stood in front of me, her cute smile other face. I smiled back at her.

"Sana unnie!"

Tzuyu looked...paler than usual. Was the afterlife cold?

"Sana?"

"Mmm...What?" I mumbled, being torn away from my dream.

"Sana!"

My eyes whipped open at the familiar voice. I was hoping it was all a bad dream, and that Tzuyu was there, waking me up for something.

But nobody was there.

I sighed and got up to shower before officially going to sleep. Like I promised, Tzuyu was there as well. And I kept my eyes on her.

Before going back to my room, I stole one of Tzuyu's stuffed animals. It smells just like her.

I climbed into my bed, setting her bowl on my bedside table. Just when I was about to turn the lamp off, I heard:

"Sana?"

Okay, I can't be dreaming. Tzuyu's voice sounded like she was right in front of me. Was I losing my mind?

I closed my eyes for a quick second before opening them again.

There she stood. In the same white dress she wore at her funeral, the last thing she ever wore. Her hair was curled beautifully, and she wore a tiara. I noticed she had a small smile on her face, one she reserves especially for me.

My heart started to speed up, my palms were sweaty, and I did the only thing I could think of.

I screamed.

Dedicated to those who keep requesting me to update. XD I didn't think many would read this...

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