Hanahaki • Jihan

18

sometimes, Joshua would look up at the night sky and remember the night when he told Jeonghan that he was beautiful. his face would flush when he recalls how surprised Jeonghan was when he heard those words leave his lips. he would think : why was he surprised?

sometimes, Joshua would stare at the sunrise and wonder what would happen if he never liked Jeonghan. Would the disease still attack his heart? Would he be in love with another? he shrugs at the thought – he doesn't want to think about the unchangeable past.

and what if, just what if, Jeonghan had liked Joshua instead of liking Seungcheol and catching himself in a potential love triangle? A huge puff of white leaves Joshua's lips as he sits in the park waiting for Jeonghan.

he checked his watch,

2:07

You would think by now, Joshua would try to get over Jeonghan. You would think by now, Joshua would get the surgery to remove the flowers. You would think by now, Joshua would've learnt.

But pretty boys, they don't learn from love.

"hey Joshua!" Jeonghan's gentle voice seems to echo through the near-empty park.

and at times like this, Joshua was afraid to turn around.

but he had to. life doesn't just stop for pretty boys, you know that, Joshua?

yeah.

"hey Hannie," he can feel his heart speeding up, yet it felt as though at any moment it might just stop.

"so what was it that you want to tell me?"

breathe, Joshua hong, breathe-

"look, Jeonghan, something's been bothering me and I need to confide in you before I make my next step."

you wouldn't believe the worried look on Jeonghan's face. It was the same look he gave Joshua when he first told Jeonghan about how his pet fish died due to being overfed and he didn't know what to do with it.

"what is it?"

Joshua paused. yes? no? yes? no?

yes.

"i know this will potentially ruin our friendship and you might find me odd and peculiar and hate me... oh! i don't know but every time I see you, you make my insides all warm and it's as though a bunch of butterflies escaped from the gardens nearby because that's what you make me feel. All jittery and pinkish on the inside. warm tone - and if you don't know what I'm saying right now, that's okay too! The feelings have just been invading me and-and.."

"and?"

"and I like you, Yoon Jeonghan. Have been for a while now."

Joshua wished he knew what Jeonghan said in reply.

but he ran away before Jeonghan could even part his lips.

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