drown [joshler] >> j.d t.j

notification 30

*52 new messages*

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i woke up on the kitchen floor.

my body felt like it was made of lead. hot, boiling, painful lead. i could barely move. i slowly opened one eye and saw that the kitchen was dark.

then i remembered.

the pain, the fear. my mother leaving, my father taking his rage out on me. i had given up, accepted that i was going to die. i'd smiled. i had wanted to die.

i thought i was going to die.

i was supposed to die.

i tried to get up. i was face down on the floor with god knows what injuries; i wanted up.

pain.

i fell back against the floor as pain swept throughout my body, overwhelming all my senses and filling my mouth with the copper taste of blood. i gasped and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for it to go away. tears slid out from under my eyelids, down my cheeks.

why was i alive? why didn't i die? he beat me to the point where i couldn't get off the floor, why hadn't he just killed me?

it seemed hours before the intense searing pain faded into a dull throb. slowly, i tried to sit again. my body screamed in protest, but i ignored it, eventually getting to a sitting position on the tile. i looked around the kitchen. it was dark, so i couldn't really see much, but what i could looked horrible.

around me on the white tile were splatters of blood, mine i assumed. there was a dent in the wall beside the light switch. mom's cookbooks she usually kept in a neat row above the sink were strewn around the room, some ripped and broken. my phone was on the floor a ways away. i couldn't tell what condition it was in from where i was, but i assumed bad.

i inhaled deeply. when my chest expanded, my ribs ached and the pain was so bad i couldn't fill my lungs completely. i looked myself over to assess my injuries, starting with my legs. where my jeans had been ripped, the scratches on my legs showed through, the blood around them dark and dried. i started to take my sweatshirt off to look at my chest, but when i tried moving my arms to remove it, my left shoulder suddenly erupted in pain, screaming in protest and overall feeling as if it had been yanked off of my body.

i made a gargling noise and bent over, squeezing my eyes shut and reaching for my shoulder. when i put my hand on it, immediately i could tell something was wrong. where my shoulder and shoulder blade should have felt smooth together against my back, there was a drop. my shoulder was no longer in its socket.

my mind racing, i tried to concentrate and remember something zack had told me about him popping his friend's dislocated arm back into place after he fell off of a wall in army training.

shit, fuck, ow.

what was it again....

son of a bitch, dammit. remember tyler, what did he say?

elbow at ninety degrees...push away from body...slowly rotate elbow...

i heard a popping sound, then a wave of pain rolled over me. i groaned and held my arm in front of my chest, holding my head in my other hand.